Don’t love “Idol” just for tryouts

My mom always told me not to use the word “hate,” so I’ll put this as nicely as possible. I… My mom always told me not to use the word “hate,” so I’ll put this as nicely as possible. I strongly dislike the viewing habits of people who watch the auditions for “American Idol” and not the actual show.

Normally, I look forward to people talking about anything TV-related so I can pop in and share my thoughts – since I’m not a sports guy, it’s the closest I can get to feeling accepted by random strangers. But when people are discussing the first few episodes of “AI,” I become borderline enraged.

I’ll hear a group of people talking about last night’s episode and get excited, thinking that they will accept me because I also saw last night’s episode. Then it just takes that one person in the group to say, “Yeah, I love the auditions. They’re the best part, I don’t watch the rest of the season.”

Statements like this bother me because it directly and dramatically affects my life for the next several weeks. If it weren’t for these probably very friendly and intelligent people who have a different sense of humor than me, the months of January and February would go much more smoothly.

The first season of “AI” had a mere five hours devoted to the auditions. This season, that number has ballooned to ten; and if I know Fox – and I do know Fox – we’ll be graced with a bad audition recap in the near future.

The auditions are so predictable. Person walks in, she attempts to sing, the judges are mean, person leaves crying and/or shouting obscenities and Ryan Seacrest gets more unnecessary screen-time.

As if that isn’t bad enough, I also have to deal with conversations that go something like this:

“Did you see the guy dressed as Apollo Creed?”

“Yeah! That was hilarious.”

Now what exactly was hilarious about a man in a star-spangled robe? Are we supposed to be entertained by people in funny costumes? We see “funny” costumes every season on “AI” – there was the guy dressed as a playing card, one as the Statue of Liberty and the obligatory audience member masquerading as some sort of high-sodium fatty food.

What made the first season of “AI” so good was that people were auditioning because they really thought they could sing. The auditions are now filled with rejects from “The Real World” who still want their fifteen minutes.

People are chosen to go to the judges if there’s a chance for a laugh, and it’s not a stretch to imagine that potentially talented singers are ignored if they don’t have a shtick.

This affects later stages of the competition when the talent pool becomes smaller and the judges’ sense of skill lowers – how else could people like Kellie Pickler breeze through to the top 10 and get a recording contract? I refuse to believe that Kellie Pickler was one of the top-10 amateur vocalists in America last year.

Even the winners are getting less exciting. Kelly Clarkson aside, no one has proven themselves beyond their first album.

While watching season one again on “American Idol Rewind,” all I could think about was that Clarkson never would have made it to the judges’ room this year. She was wearing a shirt made from a pair of jeans, her hair was unkempt and even her vocals weren’t top-notch.

Clarkson was a diamond in the rough. I can only imagine how many amazing vocalists who don’t walk into the audition with the full package are being overlooked so the editors have enough material for a Prince montage.

So please, turn off your televisions when the auditions are on – if not for me, then for the recording industry.