Can’t we all just play nice and get along

We are college students. We are residents, at least some of the time, of a hustling and… We are college students. We are residents, at least some of the time, of a hustling and bustling city. We are classmates, friends, lovers, roommates, students. As a result of all or any of that, we interact with one another. As human beings, we relate.

It’s almost completely unavoidable. Especially at this point in our lives, as we struggle to hold down internships and meet new people and get that kid from Chem lab to Xerox her notes, it’s extremely important that we generally get along with the people we see in daily life.

Obviously.

I’m not going to tell you that we should all start every day with great big smiles on our faces and a little more bounce in our steps, as thrilled as Richard Simmons might be. I’m here to tell you that being nice is not a crime. Everybody could stand to be a little nicer, of course. But mostly, everybody could stand to stop judging people who are nice as nauseatingly optimistic pains in the neck.

Nobody proves anything by dragging their feet into class every day and sulking for fifty minutes straight. Nobody proves anything by greeting a stranger in the elevator with a friendly “hello with a drowsy nod. All of us are tired almost every day, and probably for the majority of the day. This isn’t an excuse for cringing when somebody greets you enthusiastically in public.

And sometimes, in fact, you do prove something by forgetting to thank the person who held the door open. You prove, in that one second, that you are a rude and self-involved jerk.

Okay, that wasn’t very nice.

But you do send a message, and it’s those messages that work against us in ways we might not even realize. This is why it would be fabulous if we were all the ones doing the smiling. But that isn’t realistic, so all I ask is that when we can’t muster up the good mood, at least don’t snap at those who can. Don’t use words like “tool” just because it makes you feel better.

Those who “care what society thinks” are generally looked down upon, which makes very little sense to me. I guess it depends on your exact definition of the phrase, because I know I certainly don’t condone girls who always buy the same shoes as their friends or the macho guys who act that way because of what their “bros” tell them.

But if you assume that the phrase means something more along the lines of “giving a damn about others,” I don’t really see the problem. Perhaps “considering what other people think” is a better way of putting it.

Happy people are like this. Happy people want you to have a good day, too, and this isn’t something to smirk at. It’s something to appreciate. They are not tools. They are kind.

I live in harmony (okay, you can groan because I used the word “harmony”) with others. I’m not always a bundle of joy and love – those who are close to me know that sarcasm is a close personal friend of mine – but I do try to treat others the way they would like to be treated. And that does not make me a doormat or a puppet of society.

People who are nice to others, either because they are intimidated or desperate, to some extent need help. But I’d like to think that (for the most part at least) nice people recognize the fact that we all have to see each other’s faces day in and day out, and that it doesn’t hurt to be friendly.

Human beings mix and mingle. It’s impossible to get around that. So it’s counterproductive to come down so harshly on those who have the ability to treat most of the world benevolently.

Being a naturally sullen individual is not a crime either. However, it’s not justifiable means for mocking those that are bubbly and cheerful. Too many times, I’ve heard other students snort as some chipper freshman waltzes across Towers lobby to meet their friends, which is silly. Being a pleasant person more often than not doesn’t indicate obliviousness to the fact that puppies get kicked sometimes.

Be nice – but if you can’t, don’t assume it’s because you know something that nice people do not. Nice people know something you do not – that there’s no way to escape the fact that human beings have to be around and see and talk to each other constantly. And being angry makes that a lot less enjoyable.

So can we all (please) get over ourselves?

Carolyn would be happy to hear from you at ceg36@pitt.edu.