Porn to decide DVD destiny

One of the biggest dilemmas facing American consumers these days involves the future of the… One of the biggest dilemmas facing American consumers these days involves the future of the home entertainment industry: HD DVDs versus Blu-ray disks. Both technologies have their advantages and disadvantages, and it will be interesting so see which format will end up on top. While the buyers will ultimately make the decision, leading technology experts believe that the race will be greatly influenced by an unlikely group – porn stars.

Twenty-five years ago, the adult film industry made the jump from the big screen to the little one, whose Betamax technology was supposed to mark a new era in home entertainment. However, Betamax decided not to be associated with pornography. A lower-quality format, VHS, embraced adult movies and went on to dominate the business for the next 15 years. According to PC Magazine and other technology-based publications, porn should have a similar effect on the fight between HD DVD and Blu-ray.

HD DVDs, the cheaper but inferior option, have a slight edge in the porn department. The production company Wicked Pictures released the first-ever high-definition adult film last December, a movie titled “Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre,” which may or may not be up for an Academy Award in the near future. But Blu-ray doesn’t plan on remaining flaccid in the market for long, because one of the highest-profile studios in the country, Vivid Entertainment, plans on releasing films in the new format later this year.

Is crystal clear, detail-exposing smut a good thing? That’s still up for debate. The bigger picture is that whichever format manages to dominate the sex market will go on to dictate how an entire new generation of children will watch their Disney movies.

The overlying point of this discussion is the massive influence the adult film industry has on American society. According to familysafemedia.com, pornography made $57 billion dollars last year, $20 billion of which came from adult videos. The average age of a child’s first exposure to pornography is 11 years old. One out of ten people in the world admit to having a pornography addiction, and that doesn’t even count the people whose consumption of porn is not as, well, hard- core.

It’s hard to distinguish the real world from the porn world these days. Jenna Jameson and Pamela Anderson have become legitimate international celebrities. Larry Flynt, creator of the popular adult magazine “Hustler,” finished seventh out of 135 candidates in the 2003 California recall election. More and more famous people are accidentally leaking sex tapes every day. Adult films are sounding more like mainstream movies, with titles like “American Booty,” “Forrest Hump” and “Boldfinger.” James Brown may have been “The Hardest Working Man in Show Business,” but Ron Jeremy’s – sorry, that one’s just a little too easy.

The blurring of lines is not limited to Hollywood; the effect is all over. My buddy works as a pizza deliverer in Shadyside. He told me that over the last year, an increased number of customers have claimed to not have enough money for their order and have offered to make it up to him “in other ways.” It’s been the same story from my friends who are cable guys, air conditioning fixers, plumbers, nurses, substitute teachers and cheerleading coaches. And my buddy at the Kleenex factory hasn’t been this busy since the premiere of “The Notebook.”

I’m not particularly sure if having our lives so influenced by pornography is a good or bad thing. Many European countries would applaud it, as their societies are much more open about sex and embrace nudity instead of shunning it. On the other hand, traditional and conservative thinking sees the adult film industry as an un-Godly stain on our culture and not something to be proud of. But then again, when’s the last time you saw one of those really traditional and conservative people in a good mood? Maybe they could use a little more porn in their lives.

So which one will prevail – HD DVD or Blu-ray? Despite its late start, in an industry in which size clearly matters, the guess here is that the higher-capacity Blu-ray disk will win out. But no matter which one succeeds in the end, the competition will be decided as it should be – with a blindfold, a set of handcuffs and a can of whipped cream.

Email Sam at seg23@pitt.edu with any immature porn jokes. He’s all out.