Do nice guys finish last?

It’s the age-old question that every guy who has ever bought flowers “just because” asks… It’s the age-old question that every guy who has ever bought flowers “just because” asks himself. And it usually comes after he sees the object of his affection locking lips (or some other part of her mouth) with another guy on the dance floor of some basement in North Oakland. Since he recently witnessed this same guy making out with his sister last weekend, the guy with flowers often asks himself:

“Why is it that nice guys finish last?”

“Nice guys don’t finish last,” many girls will insist as they leave the party with Joe “What’s your major?” Smith. Yet, a nice guy knows better. A nice guy knows that tomorrow he will run toward the girl’s apartment, give her a hug, wipe away her tears and then find out “what a good friend” he is. I mean – he’s “almost like a brother.” Shouldn’t that be good enough?

Now, I know that you think you know where this is going. But let me stop you. The nice guy complaining about how women don’t appreciate him is old and hackneyed. No one likes a whiner.

Nice guys are not idiots. They know that girls often look past them in favor of someone who does not treat them with respect and consideration. Yet, many persist in being nice guys. Why the masochism?

Some men take refuge in the argument that one of my friends once offered to me: “Nice guys finish last in the short run,” she told me, “but in the long run, you’ll find that nice guys have better marriages and a better family life. So nice guys finish first in the long run.” This kind of analysis might sound ideal for Rip Van Winkle, but for the single nice guy who just wants to appreciate a woman, it reeks of “Don’t worry that you have no life now, you’ll feel so fulfilled as a doctor.” He knows that the future is bright, but he worries that he may never get there.

Nonetheless, even though their stock is slow to mature, most nice guys never make the switch to being a