Getting the right get-up for a scary task

There’s less than a week until the big day, and you need to start getting ready.

The… There’s less than a week until the big day, and you need to start getting ready.

The subject is Halloween, of course, and if you don’t have a costume, you need to get one pronto. This weekend will be the best part of the Halloween “season,” which gives you even less time to find a great costume.

Halloween is one of the best holidays, and quite possibly the most fun. There are no family pressures or any of the formal technicalities normally associated with Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Instead, it’s a time to be with friends, eat candy and have fun. It’s also a time to express your creativity: Your costume is the most important aspect of your Halloween experience, and it’s also the most exciting.

In my opinion, there are three types of good Halloween costumes: those that are unique, those of high quality and those that are provocative. Whatever your costume is, it should fit into at least one of those categories. This will keep your get-up from appearing dull or just downright boring. To fulfill at least one of these criteria, your costume requires time, commitment and forethought.

The uniqueness of your costume depends on your own individuality. Try to find something that blends with your persona — that is, an outfit that helps you to express your deepest, most repressed emotions or, conversely, one that’s completely opposite from your personality. This way, you can shock people who know you and enjoy the hilarious or ridiculous situations that follow.

Achieving this uniqueness means that you’ll have to do a lot of work to arrive at your perfect deception. Don’t be afraid to use makeup or face paint, temporary hair dye or fake tattoos. Hit up secondhand clothing stores for inexpensive garb, and get the opinions of your friends. Designing and assembling your costume is one of the most amusing parts of Halloween.

Another important aspect of your festive array is quality. Your friends will notice and appreciate the time and effort you put into your work, and the positive reactions to this work are the perfect payoff.

Your costume should be outfitted with your own fabrications and personal touches. This will add to the originality of the idea, which instantly makes your cover-up a better one. Take a cliched costume idea and make it your own.

The last, and perhaps most important, topic to address is the “provocative costume.” Some of the best and most memorable Halloween costumes will be absolutely scandalous. A good and almost overconfident masquerade will turn heads and make your friends blush.

Take comfort in the fact that this holiday is the one day of the year you have an excuse to wear just about anything. So please, take advantage of this.

You have an understood immunity to the normal constraints of good taste. Your simulative appearance will let you have lots of fun, and your friends will wheeze with excitement and enthusiasm.

With such an audacious ensemble, the devil is in the details. Dress to your own comfort level. If you veer even gently toward the sexy side, you’ll get more than your fair share of recognition.

Everyone knows it’s Halloween, and no one will question your lust-inspiring appearance. Feel free to show off the body you’ve been working for at the gym all summer — especially girls!

I anticipate seeing a few pairs of thigh-highs, guarder belts and platform shoes. It may be the last time that you’ll get to flaunt that hot bod before all the winter clothes come on.

If it’s extra cold outside, as we can safely assume it soon will be, your efforts and eccentricities will make you look even sexier. This is Halloween, and it’s worth any associated sacrifices.

Provocative deceptions are the best Halloween choices. While the weather’s cold and things get scary, you’ll be hot.

Derek can’t decide whether to dress as a “naughty librarian” or as a life-size version of Stewie from “Family Guy.” Any thoughts? E-mail helpful advice to dsf5@pitt.edu.