Headlines in Brief (10/16/06)

Education

Men who have difficulty “wooing” women: do not fear. There is light at… Education

Men who have difficulty “wooing” women: do not fear. There is light at the end of the tunnel. A startup company, Charisma Arts, has begun offering seminars for men in the population who are somewhat lacking in the romantic social skills department. The seminars cost approximately $1,600.

Steve: The time has come for the next big step in technology: robot women. Seriously, if we’ve reached the point where we have to pay other guys to teach us how to get laid (because really, that’s what these classes really are about), then it’s about time that we just embrace this new wave of innovation — in more ways than one — and give up on procreating all together.

Honestly, I can’t see how someone can be taught to be more attractive to women. This seems more about teaching someone to change his personality. “Hey, you’re pretty undesirable, but act like someone completely different, and the chicks will be all over you!”

Maybe all guys should be forced to take these classes. It can be just like getting your driver’s license, but for attracting women. If the government can teach us how to operate vehicles, why can’t it teach us how to be a smooth operator?

Donald: The men described in this article are all very successful, very busy men. It could be argued that it is not their fault; they are simply too busy to understand women completely. What is more, women are entirely too confusing.

It would be infinitely better if women were to go to these classes and find out precisely how to behave around men. The classes would be quite a bit less rigorous. The cost could be cut quite a bit lower for each class. After all, men are significantly simpler when it comes to dating and sex. They are easy to figure out; their needs and desires are transparent.

A seminar for women could go something like this: “If you’re attracted to the guy, just…tell him. He’s entirely too lazy to guess.” Complete. Seminar over. I therefore propose the formation of a new contender to Charisma Arts. In fact, seminars for women should be mandatory. All women should know precisely how easy and obvious it is to woo a man.

Money

The debt collection industry in the United States has steadily grown more harassing. Despite laws designed to protect those in debt from harassment, the Pennsylvania Consumer Protection Bureau reported 3,240 incidents of harassing, insulting or even threatening telephone calls.

Steve: I thought we were beyond the days when it was acceptable to call someone and threaten to break his legs over a debt, but it seems we are not so lucky. Claims against debt collectors have increased recently, and in many cases, threats are involved.

Just like most of you, I have no love for the telemarketer. They are obnoxious, they waste your time and they interrupt important games of solitaire. But what if they became violent? We could end up at the mercy of our tormentors.

But can these practices be blamed on the employee, these so called “rogue collectors?” Do these companies really expect us to believe that their employees just decide to go vigilante some days and threaten people? If this is true, then we are soon to be at the mercy of radical groups of roaming debt collectors, destroying and pillaging in the name of their companies, while their managers and CEOs watch on in horror, wondering just what the world has come to.

Get real. If anything, the companies are probably encouraging this type of behavior. When they get caught, they blame it on the little guy.

Donald: When considering the economic state of this country, it is not hard to imagine an explanation for the recent rises in complaints against debt collection agencies. Americans are, more and more, relying on their credit cards as extended loans in order to buy things they simply cannot afford.

Although it is intolerable that debt collection agencies use threatening tactics to ensure payment, it is also a symptom of the greater financial troubles of the United States. Spending is always a good thing for the economy, but as long as Americans spend significantly beyond their means and use bankruptcy to escape debt, credit card companies will remain desperate and determined. With the desperate credit card companies comes the demand for aggressive debt collection agencies.

Fixes to the recent problems lie in two arenas. First, stricter laws must be passed in order to decrease the occurrence of threatening and inappropriate calls. Credit card and loan holders can help themselves, as well. Being smart with your money and not spending significantly over your means will assist in reducing the occurrence of debt collector harassment.

Immigration

The slaying of three people in Altoona by an illegal immigrant has prompted the passage of a law that is aimed towards forcing non U.S. citizens to leave. This law, which penalizes businesses who hire illegal immigrants and landlords who rent to them, was created in hopes of protecting the people of Altoona, even though the murderer, Miguel Padilla, was not an Altoona resident himself.

Steve: First of all, this law was passed because of the crimes of a man who is not even an Altoona resident, so it wouldn’t even have prevented these murders. It’s not like they are building a wall around the place and having a border patrol pick out people that look ethnic and ask them questions like “Have you ever worn a sombrero?” This is the gross misuse of a heinous crime to remove a faction of people who are looked down upon, mainly because of bigoted and completely untrue ideas. “They’re stealing our jobs! They’re unruly and antagonistic! They don’t serve my food fast enough!”

But where are these people going to go when they’re forced out of Altoona? Obviously, the government of Altoona isn’t worried. It’s content with the “not my problem, you deal with it, lalala!” strategy. However, if more cities follow suit, we could find ourselves in the middle of a mass illegal immigrant exodus. Something that would do much more harm than good.

Donald: It is absolutely preposterous to base such a momentous law on an isolated event. The law, based upon a murder performed by an illegal immigrant, immediately tells all who were affected that illegal immigrants are the enemy. It paints a picture in the minds of Altoona residents that a majority of, if not all, illegal immigrants are dangerous and to be feared.

The justification, “…our people were afraid to walk down the street. I had to do something to protect them,” spoken by Louis Barletta, the mayor of Hazleton, exemplifies all that is wrong with this law. It may be true that Altoona residents are fearful. It is quite logical to be fearful of a violent homicide. The problem lies in the fact that the homicide is set apart from others because it was performed by an illegal immigrant. Instantly, people label all immigrants — be they legal or illegal — with a tag of being “dangerous,” “homicidal” and “to be feared.”

This country, let alone a region of Pennsylvania, cannot continue successfully if similar laws responding harshly to isolated incidents are allowed to continue. Such laws will cause significant strife and are ultimately dangerous to the continued peace of the United States.