Democracy ruins reality TV

Sometimes things are bad for you. In some cases, these things are rather obvious hazards -… Sometimes things are bad for you. In some cases, these things are rather obvious hazards – stuff like eating bacon for every meal of the day – while in other situations, the potential danger is obscured by what seems like a safe exterior. As a result, people wind up consuming things that they really shouldn’t, without knowing that these things are bad for them. In the ’70s, Mr. Yuck was invented – in Pittsburgh! Take that, Sienna Miller! – to show kids the danger of eating or drinking bad stuff like antifreeze. I think Mr. Yuck, the beloved green non-smiley-face man needs to be brought back today to be stamped onto things that are causing problems, and not just stuff in garages. Maybe Mr. Yuck needs to be put on certain ideas that seem great, but actually aren’t. Stuff like, say, democracy, for instance.

Democracy seems to be a great idea and everybody seems to be really into it as a concept lately. Look at America’s recent efforts to bring democracy into the Middle East! We love the idea of making people free to make to their own choices: In fact, we’ll go to war for it. Because I’m sure there isn’t any other reason we’re at war, I mean – oil profits – cough, excuse me, as I was say – personal revenge – cough cough, excuse me! I’ve got this wicked cough here. Anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah, democracy. Why are we so in love with this?

What does democracy promise? Everyone has a voice, an equal share in shaping the government? Look at “American Idol.” Famously, more people voted in the last Idol-lection than in the 2004 presidential contest. This is one of those stats that people routinely bring up to argue that civilization is collapsing, America is becoming Rome, the days of Visigoths and Vandals are upon us, etc. Why does this fact bother people so much? Do we really want people who watch “American Idol” religiously – and pay money to influence its outcome by voting – to be more active participants in choosing a president?

One of the things that I’ve noticed about “Idol” is that everyone is always complaining about the result of the votes. “The tall guy with weird hair got voted off? I can’t believe it! He had such weird hair