Wannstedt’s wife opens Pitt’s doors to women

I’m going to confess something. Right here in the sports section. I was born and raised in… I’m going to confess something. Right here in the sports section. I was born and raised in Western Pennsylvania, and I…I hate football.

Like many of my lifestyle choices, I hate football out of spite. I’ve been a vegetarian for 10 years — pure spite.

My hatred for football is complex. My poor dad tried so hard to make me a Steelers fan. As a child, I was dressed in Steelers onesies and he briefly tried to convince us to name our miniature dachshund after Terry Bradshaw.

However, he failed. At some point I managed to convince myself that during football season, everyone cares about football more than they care about me. This made sense as a child and I guess it just stuck with me, and I’ve therefore never been able to enjoy the game of football. Also, my dad has more pictures and paintings of the Pittsburgh Steelers in his house than he does of my sister and me. I’m just saying…

Okay. So. I think maybe it might be time to change. I couldn’t have jumped on the I-love-football bandwagon last year when the Steelers won the Super Bowl — that would’ve been too easy and too predictable. If I’m going to haul off and be a football fan — this entails making huge lifestyle changes — I’m going to do it right. I’m no fair-weather fan.

After years of dads and friends and boyfriends badgering me to be a football fan, I’m finally caving in. Why the change of heart?

Jan Wannstedt, wife of Panthers head coach Dave Wannstedt, changed my mind.

Tuesday night, Wannstedt held an event just for women at Pitt’s Duratz Athletic Complex on the South Side that explained the game of football and introduced the football illiterate, such as myself, to the inner workings of a football team.

“[This is] obviously probably one of the nicest tailgate parties you’ve been to in awhile,” she joked as she began the session.

There were delicate hors d’oeuvres and drinks served prior to the beginning of the lesson.

Wannstedt explained how defense, offense and special teams work together to form a football team.

This may seem elementary to you, sports-section readers, but I’m a particularly bad case. I just recently found out that the yellow line they show on television to mark the first-down line is actually not there. It always confused me something fierce that they found it necessary to measure when that convenient yellow line was already provided for them.

But I digress.

I opened up the packet they gave me containing a playbook and a yellow slip of paper marked “offense.” Initially, I panicked a little bit because under no circumstances was I playing football. I wore heels specifically to discourage any attempts to make me run or jump or tackle.

Then Wannstedt explained that those were only to divide us into three groups for tours of the facility after the lesson. Whew.

After Wannstedt told us the basics of the game, an NCAA official explained how penalties work.

My notes are riddled with question marks and I still have a lot to learn, but I got comfortable with some of the terminology and gained an understanding of the game that no one had bothered to offer to me before.

Following the lesson, we toured the facility. If there is one thing that impresses me, it is cleanliness, and these rooms were nearly spotless. I don’t know if that’s how they always look, but, for the sake of becoming a football fan, I’d like to believe that they do.

The athletic training room was immaculate and impressive.

The locker rooms didn’t smell bad at all and most players kept their lockers fairly neat.

“Basically, I’m Mr. Mom — clean laundry, I pick up after them,” said Tim Enright, football equipment manager for the Panthers.

“We use a lot of Febreze,” he added.

Furthermore, I gained an appreciation for exactly what it means to be a student-athlete. Not only do these guys go to class, they practice 20 hours a week, they have mandatory study halls, and if they are injured, they have to be at the complex by 6 a.m. to receive medical attention.

That’s quite the schedule.

Thanks to Jan Wannstedt, I am now capable of becoming a football fan.

While I’ll probably never stuff my kid into a Steelers onesie or try to name my 10-pound dog after a quarterback, I can at least tailgate and get excited about the games.

My dad is going to be so thrilled.