Sweet, sweet nerdy lovin’

I’ll admit it — I have a serious thing for dorky guys.

Just ask my roommates. They’ve… I’ll admit it — I have a serious thing for dorky guys.

Just ask my roommates. They’ve showered me with quite a few articles showcasing my passion, from underwear emblazoned with “I Love Nerds” to a Nerds candy pillow that perfectly completes the ambience of my bedroom.

This fetish of mine most likely finds its roots in the third grade, when a flame-haired, freckle-faced boy gave our teacher a note that she was to pass on to me. It simply instructed me to meet him by the orange cones at recess.

Being the super-cool third-grader that I was, I rolled out to recess and up to the nerd accompanied by my entourage of snickering girlfriends. I then proceeded to publicly rip the poor guy’s heart out and drain him of every ounce of masculinity and bravery — or so I thought — before leading my vicious pack of man-eating 8-year-olds to the hopscotch area.

He never gave up. He showered me with compliments, telling me I had pretty feet. He ran ahead of me, shoving others out of the way so he could hold open a door for me to pass through. He even asked me to prom in the fourth grade. No matter how many times I shot him down, his love for me was unconditional.

By the time our senior year rolled around, his passion had shifted. He decided to go to college for theology and study to become a pastor. His most recent Facebook — or should I say Stalkerbook? — picture depicts him clutching a Bible and grinning at a podium in front of an altar. I often wonder how responsible I am for this drastic life decision.

The thing is, this kid stuck by me through thick and thin. He displayed his undying affection for me even when I cut my hair to only about an inch long, and it lingered throughout the years that followed (when my grandma’s roommate at the nursing home was still convinced that I was a boy).

But it took more than me simply becoming a nerd to fully appreciate another good nerd. I had to experience my first mini-relationship with a regular, fairly arrogant guy. You know the type — the pitcher of my high school’s baseball team, good-looking, overly confident, bad boy image. He didn’t have to try one bit to get a girl and didn’t have to be witty or even interesting enough in order to keep a girl around.

It took being blown off countless times, being deserted in a parking lot in a rough neighborhood, writing an A+ term paper for which I was never thanked and ultimately finding out that he was cheating on me before I had my Oprah “Aha!” moment.

It finally dawned on me that any guy who doesn’t make me a priority when I’m in a relationship with him doesn’t deserve me one bit. I should never have to compromise who I am to become who he wants me to be. The same goes for guys. A girl should not want to mold you into her ideally perfect boyfriend. The fact of the matter is, perfect is boring.

Tracey Lomrantz of the New York Daily News cited several unlikely Hollywood couples in an article last summer titled “Nerds Make Better Lovers.” Pairs like sexy actress Courtney Cox and quirky David Arquette or golf nerd Tiger Woods and his Swedish model wife Elin Nordegren may seem odd at first, but clearly these couples share something that endures, unlike failed relationships between beautiful couples like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston or Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise. Even newlywed Christina Aguilera retired her dirrrty days in favor of her geeky husband, Jordan Bratman.

Self-proclaimed nerd Spencer Koppel even went so far as to create a geek dating Web site, Geek 2 Geek. The site lists the “Top Ten Reasons Why Geeks Make the Best Match,” citing that geeks don’t cheat, are typically happy and successful in their jobs, and haven’t had the chance to develop poor relationship habits. The site matches candidates based on criteria such as favorite board games instead of build or eye color.

My beauty queen sister dated quite a few pretty boys before she fell in love with the guy who highlighted words he didn’t know in the newspaper so they could look them up together later. Now they’re married, successful and have a beautiful baby girl.

So next time, why not scan the library for a catch instead of the bar? Grab a geek and find out that the grass just might be greener on the other side, after all.

If you sport a pocket protector, e-mail Jessica at jrp32@pitt.edu.