Good gossip gets it done

I’ll be the first to admit that I have an addiction. No, I’m not a drug addict or an… I’ll be the first to admit that I have an addiction. No, I’m not a drug addict or an alcoholic. But I am, in fact, a gossipaholic.

In the words of Lindsay Lohan in “Mean Girls”: I often find myself spewing out huge chunks of word vomit.

I’m not sure exactly how I came to be a gossipaholic, but for as long as I can remember I’ve been shamelessly interested in personal details about other people’s lives. Growing up in a township nicknamed “The Bubble” because of its rapid flow of rumors probably didn’t help much, either.

I used to believe that gossip was something that young people engaged in out of immaturity, lack of confidence or boredom. As I get older, however, I see just how prevalent gossip is in all stages of life. For example, I can’t tell you how many stories were swapped among soccer moms at some of our games.

I understand how dangerous gossip can be; at times it has a real potential of hurting someone’s reputation or feelings. But for the most part I think that some gossip is a good thing and can contribute to healthy interactions.

This is especially true in the professional setting, where gossip can be used as an effective way to establish certain codes, vent about a colleague or offer warnings or protection. For example, if your boss has been especially rude and snappy for a certain period of time, hearing from a co-worker that he and his wife are going through a separation may offer you some comfort and reassurance.

Recent studies have also shown that not only is gossip universal, it can also be healthy and advantageous. According to an article in the New York Times, “Gossip helps clarify and enforce the rules that keep people working well together” and “circulates crucial information about the behavior of others that cannot be published in an office manual.”

David Sloan Wilson — a professor of biology and anthropology at the State University of New York at Binghamton — considers gossip “to be a very sophisticated, multifunctional interaction which is important in policing behaviors in a group and defining group membership.”

Gossip can clue new group members into what is expected of and appropriate for that group. For example, suppose at a new job you hear co-workers gossiping about how lazy or unproductive a colleague is who checks her e-mail too much throughout the day. You would immediately learn that frequent e-mail checking is unacceptable in that office.

I also consider gossip in the social setting to be equally refreshing. I don’t care how amazing your friends are — some things they do bug the heck out of you. It’s natural to get annoyed and just as natural to vent to other people about such things. I consider the opportunity to vent as a blessing in that it allows me to rant for a couple of minutes, get over it and move on. It’s when people are silent that their frustrations build to the point where they eventually just snap.

The important thing is to realize that as you vent to other people about your friends or co-workers, your friends or co-workers vent to other people about you. As long as you can handle that fact, you shouldn’t feel guilty about gossiping or talking about someone who is absent.

Besides all the other reasons why it’s good to gossip, I found one more: When done in the right company, gossip can simply be a lot of fun.

There is one question that one of my friends from home and I immediately ask each other upon getting together: “Have any good gossip?” The idea of having a gab session with this particular friend is so appealing to me because it allows me to get filled in about what’s going on with common acquaintances, it allows me to dish the dirt that I’ve acquired over the previous months and finally, on some weird level, allows me to feel a connection to my life before college.

Because let’s face it, your friends from college simply don’t care about stories regarding people from your high school.

So not only does gossip serve a purpose, engaging in it is necessary. Yale psychologist Sarah Wert claims that “not participating in gossip at some level can be unhealthy and abnormal.”

Gossip should no longer be considered an activity for the insecure, nosy or feeble-minded, but rather an outlet that allows us to connect and share with others and alleviate frustration and tension.

So being a gossipaholic — as long as one refrains from vicious gossip, which is never good — is no longer something to be ashamed of. So the next time you’re involved in a “he said, she said” session, don’t feel so guilty about contributing or listening, because you never know, something you hear or say just might come in handy for yourself or someone else.

Send Anjali an e-mail at amn17@pitt.edu — but don’t tell her I told you.