May movie madness

While cinema may not often mimic the seasons, there’s no doubt that April drudgery brings… While cinema may not often mimic the seasons, there’s no doubt that April drudgery brings May blockbusters. After a painful dry spell of flat horror movies and even flatter romantic comedies, May brings us a slew of action, adventure and star power.

“Mission: Impossible III”

While it seems a tad unlikely that Tom Cruise is still capable of leaping from a burning car, tumbling down a cliff and sleeping with his mistress 30 seconds afterward, Ethan Hunt returns to keep the bad guys in check and look damn good in the process. Directed by J.J. Abrams, “Mission Impossible: III” pits the uber-spy against Owen Davian (Philip Seymour Hoffman), an international weapons dealer. Hunt assembles his implausibly sexy team to go against Hoffman, a casting choice that will easily create one of summer’s coolest villains. Cruise managed to stake out an uncomfortable position in the public eye recently, but “M:I III” is bound to offer plenty of distractions in the form of gratuitous explosions and all-around eye candy.

Release Date: May 5

“Poseidon”

No, Kurt Russell isn’t bringing a Greek god to the silver screen. And seeing as director Wolfgang Petersen was also responsible for “Troy,” the Olympians can let out a sigh of relief. A remake of “The Poseidon Adventure” (1972), “Poseidon” infuses the classic disaster film with absurd amounts of computer-generated imagery and peculiar casting decisions. When a cruise liner flips upside down thanks to an enormous tsunami (too soon?), the few survivors, including Kurt Russell, struggle to survive and escape from the nautical prison. So if you liked “Titanic” but weren’t keen on the sappy stuff, check out “Poseidon” for a strong dose of claustrophobic adventure.

Release Date: May 12

“The Da Vinci Code”

It seemed an impossible task, but the buzz surrounding director Ron Howard’s “The Da Vinci Code” is just as great as that triggered by the book. After a murder at the Louvre, symbology expert Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) unravels the religious mystery lurking in Da Vinci’s paintings. Hanks is backed by a stellar cast — including Ian McKellen, Paul Bettany and Audrey Tautou — as he races against the clock to decipher the puzzle and stun the Christian world with the uncovered truths. While “The Da Vinci Code” is unlikely to generate controversy to the extent of “The Passion of the Christ,” the religious implications of Dan Brown’s novel will infuse the film with all the fascination of a hot-button issue.

Release Date: May 19

“X-Men: The Last Stand”

It’s tough to pinpoint what exactly makes the X-Men film series so relentlessly appealing. Whether it’s the all-star cast, the fantastic action sequences or simply the ideal subject matter, the first two films left little room for disappointment. Director Brett Ratner takes on the third installment of the trilogy in which a “cure” for mutants instigates an all-out war between the factions of Magneto (Ian McKellen) and Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart). In addition to the familiar cast of mutants, Angel (Ben Foster) and Beast (Kelsey Grammer) join the ranks as the mutants are faced with the decision to remain unique or opt for a “normal” life. “X-Men: The Last Stand” promises an apocalyptic battle of epic proportions, and is sure to round out the trilogy with a colossal bang.

Release Date: May 26

Excited about May movies? Skeptical about Cruise’s ability to rival Superman? Drop Kristen a line at ked2@pitt.edu.