She’s living la vida cell-less

“I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer,” said a slightly anxious-looking classmate,… “I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer,” said a slightly anxious-looking classmate, worried that I had forgotten our lunch meeting. “How could I have answered? I’ve been on campus all day,” was my reply.

I quickly realized where things were getting lost in translation. My friend assumed that she was dialing the digits for my cell phone, but as uncanny as it may seem, I don’t have one (this is the part where you, the reader, gasp in horror).

It wasn’t always this way. I was as much a part of the revolution as the next person, before I went abroad for a few months and had to ditch the phone. During this time, when I tried to function without a cell phone, it hit me: I’m free! Free, free, free!

You see, when I had a cell phone, I felt like a prisoner to its siren-like calls. It rang, I was there. It told me there was a new message, and I checked it immediately. It was never clear whether I owned the phone or if the phone owned me.

Looking around, it appeared that I was not the only enthusiast held captive by her phone. In fact, it is sometimes hard to meet new people these days because so many are often distracted by their little handheld wonders.

I once witnessed two girls, presumably friends, walking from the gym together, each chatting on her phone rather than talking to the other. I have observed the same thing in restaurants, in classrooms and in cars. Why do cell phone users not talk to the people standing — or sitting — right next to them anymore?

Plus, why would anyone want to be reachable at all hours of the day? My walk to campus in the morning is one of the most peaceful moments of my waking life. Is it really worth giving that up to make myself available for somebody trying to reach me by cell phone at that moment?

So you’re thinking, well, why don’t you just turn the phone off then? But we all know what that is like. Turning off the phone only leads to incessant and obsessive impulses to check if anyone has called.

And if nobody has, it can lead to feelings of emptiness and questions of self-worth. But fear not, that’s when “texting” comes in handy — the equivalent of instant messenger, via cell phone.

Texting can provide instant gratification for users, or in the case of a former classmate of mine, it can serve as a three hour distraction from econ lectures. Questions that follow such diversions include “What did I miss?” after the class has just gone through a complex monetary model. But I digress.

In addition to cell phones crowding out our private lives and putting up walls between us and those around us, they can actually be dangerous to use in certain situations.

In one of the more well-known cases, former supermodel Niki Taylor was the victim of a cell phone-related car accident. Sadly, she wasn’t even the one using the phone. Rather, when the driver, an “old friend,” looked down to answer a call, he lost control of the car and slammed into a utility pole. Fortunately, Taylor has since recovered.

As harsh as it may sound, I have always believed that if you want to kill yourself by doing something stupid, fine, but don’t harm or even kill other people in the process.

To try and minimize the risk of chatting and driving, a handy little device came out that clips onto your ear, so that phone users can still gab away without having to hold the phone in their hands. While the conversation itself is probably still distracting, at least these folks can put both hands on the wheel.

Actually, these clip-on ear pieces make me laugh hysterically from time to time. They give a whole new meaning to the word “schizophrenic.” I once stood behind a girl in an elevator who looked like she was having a conversation with the elevator door for at least 10 floors — it was entertaining to watch.

The one admittedly huge advantage of having a cell phone is for emergency situations. It is hard to argue against that, and I’m certainly in favor of having one in that case. And I have to say that when trying to rendezvous with family or friends, it can be so much easier to organize everything with the help of a cell phone. But in general, I think cell phones are just a drag. Personally I feel much happier — not to mention liberated — without one.

If you have a comment about the article, don’t call Christine’s cell because she doesn’t have one. Email her at clh4@pitt.edu.