This beauty queen is packing heat

Attitude makes all the difference.

When I was 16-years-old, everyone assumed that I would… Attitude makes all the difference.

When I was 16-years-old, everyone assumed that I would enter our local “beauty-pageant-barely-disguised-as-a-scholarship-program”.

Although, the winner did take home a $5,000 college scholarship, which was about the only academia-oriented aspect of the program. The pageant consisted of three portions: talent, fitness and poise and presentation.

So why did everyone assume that I would be a part of this “scholarship program?” Oh yeah, because my gorgeous, intelligent, talented older sister won the year she participated. Props to my family for having the same faith in me – awkwardness and all. I knew from the start that I was not cut out for the pageant lifestyle.

First, I had to go through a preliminary interview with a board of judges to establish whether or not I was fit for the pageant. The verdict should have been a big “No!” from the start.

I’ll blame the fact that I went to one of the most economically depressed public schools in Pennsylvania for my horrible performance in the interview. At the time, I was a junior in high school and we hadn’t learned about the Constitution yet. While seated in front of those eight or so judges, I was asked which amendment in the Bill of Rights, excluding the first, was the most important to the Constitution.

My mind was racing. Everyone knows the first amendment. I could think of only one more.

“The right to bear arms.”

The judges recoil in fear at the thought that perhaps I, at that very moment, was packing heat. I mean, apparently I did condone it and all. To this day, my family loves to tell that story and force me to relive my humiliation.

I was certain I didn’t make the cut. When I received a letter a week later inviting me to be a contestant in the “program” I thought it was a cruel joke. I’m sure they accepted me because I was the only one from my poor school district that tried out. Even if they thought I carried a handgun because of my interview response, it would look like discrimination if they didn’t give me an equal opportunity.

And so I began attending practices with girls who had taken dance and voice lessons since they could walk and talk, and it was rumored that some had personal coaches. I met a couple wonderful girls, but the rest intimidated the hell out of me to such an extent that I could barely make eye contact. It was as though some of them made a game out of one-upping each other, all the while carrying on a facade of friendship.

When the night of the pageant rolled around, I was sitting, dreading the upcoming events, ready to puke my guts out. Pageant moms fluffing skirts surrounded me, making sure their young daughters had enough red lipstick on as the girls warmed up their voices and stretched their limbs.

Then she walked in. My beautiful, intelligent, talented sister. As she made her way to me, the chaos in the room split like the Red Sea. It buzzed through the room that she was a former winner and jaws dropped when she pulled little old awkward me into a hug.

Then it was on. Those girls were just waiting for me to pull out my secret weapon. No, not a handgun – my genes. They were intimidated by me. Suddenly, my entire perspective changed. What did I have to lose? Since there was no getting out of this now, I was going to have fun.

I laughed through my fitness routine, charmed my way through my monologue and beamed at my family taking up the entire second row during the poise and presentation portion of the evening. I flat out laughed at a girl who came back into the “holding pen” and dramatically yelled, “Now I’ll never win!” because she had dropped a baton during her routine.

When they announced the winners, believe it or not, my name wasn’t among them. Surprisingly, I felt a keen sense of accomplishment. It was the first time that I was forced to realize that state of mind means everything about how you experience a situation. You win some, you lose some, but a positive attitude and self-confidence makes a world of difference in how you interpret the outcome.

So, keep your head up and a smile on your face when you enter an intimidating situation. Or you could just allude to the fact that you may or may not be packing some heat.

Jessica wants her tiara back. If you find it, please e-mail her at jrp32@pitt.edu.