Lit major dresses like idiot, no one surprised

Editor’s Note: This story is part of the April Fools’ issue and is not to be taken seriously…. Editor’s Note: This story is part of the April Fools’ issue and is not to be taken seriously.

It finally happened.

After what has seemed to many an endless descent into the netherworld of cliche attire, one student has finally achieved the impossible.

Yoterman V. Phillips accidentally wore the same outfit as a scarecrow Tuesday.

“I like being original,” Phillips said. “I like sporting my own style.”

Unfortunately for Phillips, that “style” is comprised of tight faded jeans and baggy flannel shirts.

“When he added that doofy cowboy hat, it was game, set, match,” recalled classmate Debra Broomsky.

Yoterman, 23, is already a lit major, but his friends say he’s considering picking up the philosophy double.

“Yeah, he’s pretty much into a lot of bogus stuff that lets him sip coffee and ramble in large lecture halls,” junior Jason J. Jimson said. “Oh, and please don’t introduce me as one of his friends, he’s really just some guy I kind of know.

“He lived on my floor last year. That’s pretty much it.”

Though he partially denied knowing Yoterman, Jimson made no effort to deny the obvious similarities between his wardrobe and that of a scarecrow.

“It does kind of look like that, doesn’t it?” he said.

Jimson then left to run off and add this newly discovered piece of information to his Web log, which is ever-evolving into a self-serving tirade against people he dislikes.

Yoterman has made no efforts to distinguish himself from a scarecrow as of yet.