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Vengenance on girlfriend foiled

Editor’s Note: This story is part of the April Fools’ issue and is not to be taken seriously…. Editor’s Note: This story is part of the April Fools’ issue and is not to be taken seriously.

Freshman Billy Blakerellesson’s plan to “totally slam” ex-girlfriend Marissa Jenkinsonella backfired when, what he planned to read as a searing criticism of all her faults became fodder for a nationally read humor Web site.

The site, www.jokeyjokeUniversityjoketimejokes.com, is now displaying Blakerellesson’s rant under the headline, “World’s Biggest Loser Sounds Off.”

Portions of his essay on why Jenkinsonella “sucks” read: “She never has enough time for me. Me. Hello, I’m your boyfriend!”; “She was always telling her friends that she didn’t know who I was.”; and “This one time, I let her ‘borrow’ my ‘Office Space’ DVD. That doesn’t mean you can have it for two whole weeks, Marissa!”

And it gets worse.

Blakerellesson made the unfortunate mistake of including a video clip of himself rapping and reciting poems about how much he dislikes Jenkinsonella.

“Sound boards are popping up everywhere,” said Tim Westley, jokeyjokeUniversity’s Webmaster. “This has been great in terms of boosting our traffic.”

Blakerellesson, not surprisingly, has refused to comment, but Jenkinsonella is actually lavishing in the spotlight. There are even rumors of a book deal in the works.

“The best part about this thing is that, to this day, I’m still not sure you can call what we had a relationship,” she said. “I’m just glad the whole world finally gets a chance to see how hilarious this guy is. He went from being an inside joke in our dorm to one of the funniest things on the Internet.”

Pitt News Staff

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