SGB blows cash playing blackjack

Editor’s Note: This story is part of the April Fools’ issue and is not to be taken seriously…. Editor’s Note: This story is part of the April Fools’ issue and is not to be taken seriously.

In what some have described as an “unbelievably irresponsible” moment, Student Government President Joe “Slick Joey Peaches” Pasqualichio and board member Joe “The next Brian Kelly” Leinbach lost the entire Student Activities Fee fund on a hand of blackjack.

Figuring that odds were in their favor and a win would double the $2.3 million, the two headed for Vegas last weekend.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Peaches said. “Besides, Texas Hold’em is soooo last year.”

Following the loss — which reportedly occurred mere seconds after their arrival in the city — the Joes proceeded to consume three bottles of cheap gin, which they brought along “just in case,” according to Leinbach.

SGB adviser Joyce Giangarlo was appalled beyond words.

Sources close to Giangarlo say the Joes explained the plan to her weeks earlier, attempting to show her how good their odds were by playing blackjack in her office.

“They didn’t even have a full deck,” Greg0ry R. Hellar-L4bel said. “Joyce, and everyone else for that matter, thought they were just kidding.”