Notions of love in the reel world

Love is in the air, and no one will let you forget it.

If you’re single, this is the time of… Love is in the air, and no one will let you forget it.

If you’re single, this is the time of the year spent either embracing non-sexual love (the “my best friend is my valentine” route), finding a quick hookup to avoid spending the night alone or wearing all black and declaring Valentine’s Day a sham created by the card industry. Whichever route you choose, there’s a good that chance that, under all the mockery and fake acceptance, there’s just someone looking for a little love.

And why not? You’re deserving, right? Who’s to blame for yet another year’s celebration of love spent alone?

Maybe it’s the opposite sex who just don’t understand the appeals of a more complicated individual like yourself. Maybe it’s your parents, whose divorce left you a cynic, or whose perfect marriage left you with high expectations. Maybe it’s God. Or maybe it’s bigger than all of that.

Maybe it’s Hollywood.

That’s right. The time has come to call out Tinseltown and hold them accountable for your single status. From kiddie flicks like “Aladdin” to epic musical romances like “Moulin Rouge,” Hollywood has made a fortune off selling us love that’s a bit too perfect to be real. In exchange for our hard earned dollars, they give us standards we can’t possibly meet, and probably shouldn’t even want to.

The brainwashing starts young. Classic Disney cartoons teach us early to expect guys to change our lives, and to expect girls to put up with ridiculous amounts of crap to be rescued from future spinsterhood. Aladdin shows Jasmine a whole new world while lying about his identity. The Beast provides Belle with dancing teapots and a super-cool library in exchange for her understanding about his temper tantrums and excessive body hair. Time and again, we see guys who change girls’ worlds in exchange for tolerance of otherwise inexcusable behavior.

Then there’s the theme of changing for someone you love, another Disney favorite. The Beast becomes a funky-looking, yet kind, prince. Ariel sheds her fins for legs. And that’s only the beginning.

The theme of changing for the ones you love continues into flicks for older folks. Middle school favorite “Grease” is a prime example. Sandy becomes a spandex-wearing sexpot overnight, and Danny works to get his letterman’s jacket, all the while singing and dancing.

You could argue, I suppose, that there’s something to be said for wanting to be a better person for the one you love. But there’s being a better person, and then there’s being a completely different person. It seems that it would be easier to just find someone who likes you for who you are.

So say you find that person who actually recognizes the amazing you. What should you expect from the relationship?

According to Hollywood, true romance is about impressive gestures, corny lines and staring soulfully into one another’s eyes while a soaring anthem of love plays in the background. We ladies all want John Cusack holding the boombox. We want Zach Braff to get off the plane and we want Patrick Swayze to spin us around the dance floor and make hot, clay-covered love to us while “Unchained Melody” plays in the background. We want nothing short of cinematic perfection, and when Mr. Right doesn’t measure up, we kick him to the curb and spend Valentine’s Day alone.

So what’s the solution to the problem? Turning off our televisions? Taking a step into the real world? Lowering our expectations?

To a certain extent, yes. No one’s perfect, and not one of us looks like Jennifer Aniston or Brad Pitt. It’s really not fair to expect our significant others to measure up to the standards of the movie industry when we ourselves don’t. And even if you happen to be completely gorgeous, there’s always an Angelina Jolie waiting in the wings.

At the same time, it’s probably okay to expect some perfection in moderation. As Christian Slater’s character in “Bed of Roses” says, “Every now and then everybody’s entitled to too much perfection.” Maybe the secret lies not in finding the perfect guy or girl, but in finding the person who’s perfect for you. After all, what is love if not learning to see an imperfect person perfectly?

And when you find Mr. Perfect-for-you, if Brad Pitt should happen along, send him my way.