Doing the distance at college and making it work

Editor’s Note: The sex column deals with material that may be offensive to some readers…. Editor’s Note: The sex column deals with material that may be offensive to some readers.

Distance doesn’t have to be detrimental to a couple’s sex life. Take Gilda and Gene, for example. She attends Pitt and he attends MIT. The two juniors became mutually exclusive October of their freshman year and are still going strong.

They did experience setbacks, though. Gilda studied abroad in Prague and began to wonder if she was limiting herself. After communication between her and her boyfriend came to a halt, they broke up and she decided to explore her options.

She began to experience new things to the fullest, seeking answers to the question “What else is out there?” To her credit, although she experimented with other men, she never went too far.

In her search, she ultimately concluded that Gene was the one for her. But perhaps a reunion was inevitable, given the fact that they took each other’s virginity, attended the same high school and had their Jewish faith in common.

Today, despite the distance separating them, they do things to strengthen their relationship, both substantively and sexually. But how do they do it? And what advice do they have for other couples doing the distance?

“I never put boundaries on anything,” Gene said of their sex life when they see each other. “I am willing to try almost anything once.”

“We aren’t into butt plugs or whips,” Gilda said about the nature of their sex life. They have, however, diversified with the use of household items such as whipped cream and ice. They’ve also made sure not to put limits on the location of their activities.

“We’ve had sex on playgrounds and even in the Cathedral,” Gilda says with a chuckle. “It took us some time to realize that we had a mattress.”

Gene also mentions that one of his favorite positions is spooning, with him and Gilda on their sides. He likes to maximize skin-to-skin contact when they see each other, possibly to offset the distance that is usually between them.

Gilda is slightly more inventive. One of her favorite positions involves her on top of Gene with both of them facing the ceiling, which is good for manual stimulation.

Apart, Gilda and Gene have ways of staying true to one another and satisfying their sexual appetites. The couple has no objections to masturbation. While Gilda only occasionally delves into the realms of self-pleasure, Gene admits to masturbating more frequently. Additionally, although Gilda is considering a vibrator, she hasn’t yet bothered to go shopping for one.

Gilda and Gene don’t engage in phone sex because they believe that sex is primarily about a physical connection. However, phone sex partnered with mutual masturbation can be a great way for long distance couples to connect when they are not with each other.

Gene had also considered purchasing a Web cam, but decided against it because it would disrupt their environments at college and lead to codependency. “While it would be cool to see her facial expressions, we would be talking to each other instead of doing our work or hanging out with our friends,” Gene said.

Also, Gene and Gilda have each found a support network at their respective schools, consisting of other people in long-distance relationships. They say this helps to offset tempters and naysayers, but that the real key to staying together is keeping the lines of communication open.

Technology has given long distance couples several avenues to communicate with each other. I advocate that couples utilize what works best for them.

Over the winter break I had to separate from a significant other. However, the usage of today’s communication tools made things easier on the relationship. Text messaging, AOL Instant Messenger, picture and video mail made a world of difference to my relationship and my daytime minutes.

We’re living in an age that works to the advantage of couples doing the distance. Today, the difficulty of staying true to your mate across states is mitigated by quicker, easier means of communication. Mutual masturbation partnered with phone sex, and individual masturbation to some scandalous picture mail can fulfill a couple’s sexual desires and strengthen ties that distance might otherwise sever.

Always, always have safe sex. And after that, send your sex questions to sex@pittnews.com.