Facebook ups the ante of coming out

(U-WIRE) EVANSTON, Ill. – It is trite to say that Facebook has changed the way our… (U-WIRE) EVANSTON, Ill. – It is trite to say that Facebook has changed the way our generation categorizes our peers and our lives. For years now, we’ve been privy to the details of our classmates’ lives, and while Facebook has not led us to new levels of intimacy or camaraderie, it has created a new way of thinking about sexuality.

Members can list everything from “Whatever I can get” to “A relationship” in their “Looking For” section. To clear up any confusion many students also include that they are interested in men or women – or both.

For those struggling with coming out and those experimenting with ambiguity, the Facebook has upped the ante in our societal obsession with the fictive gay/straight dichotomy.

Facebook adds a new element to the coming out process, and what it means to be in the closet. Some students, who identify as gay or lesbian, find the “Interested in” section yet another space to articulate their identity.

According to Jon Derengowski, a Communication senior, “checking the gay box on Facebook is kind of a final step for someone who is coming out … the biggest reason being it’s public and there’s no control over who knows.”

Lindsey Barnhart, a Weinberg senior, who is out to family and some peers, says that Facebook has complicated her process. “I don’t want (that I am interested in women) to be on Facebook because I don’t want people to see that without me telling that to their face.”

While some people find the process of finally “checking the gay box” a liberating moment, others may fear the ramifications of such a public statement.

Certain Facebook members seem to encourage the policing of identity.

One Facebook group, “Interested in Men/Women=You’re Bi!” claims they are: “DAMN sick and tired of non-queer Facebookers who put both men and women down in their ‘Interested In’ profile blurb.”

While this group is encouraging Facebookers to express their sexual preferences, it certainly doesn’t respect the experimentation that often plays a role in the process of understanding one’s sexuality.

Further, many of us are guilty of assuming that we can determine sexuality through Facebook profiles. That same Facebook group claims that “If you have refused to fill in the ‘Interested In’ category, we already know. YOU’RE A CLOSETED QUEER.”

We should, however, consider our own assumptions and stereotypes. When the personal becomes so very public, perhaps we owe our peers the respect they deserve when determining their sexual identity.

For the most part, the Facebook is just fun and games. Nobody has to join, and nobody can accurately represent their identity through hyperlinked profiles.

So, before you log on to judge my profile, know this: I’m “Interested in” men and women, but it’s as indicative of my identity as my listed affinity for Newsies and darts, maybe less so.