When press conferences become dull

Interviews can get boring.

For every Bobby Knight, there are 100 coaches who always want to… Interviews can get boring.

For every Bobby Knight, there are 100 coaches who always want to say the right thing in their press conferences. Instead of another press conference full of “We gave our best effort,” or “They just outplayed us,” turn the tables. I think we should have the coaches ask the questions, and the press give the answers.

If it ever happened, here’s how it might sound:

Jamie Dixon: Keith, talk about my win over Saint Peter’s this weekend.

Me: It was a little scary towards the end, Coach, but a win is a win, although I don’t think this one will get you ranked in the top 25.

JD: So we aren’t ranked in the top 25, no big deal, but why is everybody sleeping on Pitt this year?

Me: Well, you’re unproven as a head coach. Last year’s team was horribly inconsistent and there is no one to blame but, uh, you. It’s time for you to prove your worth as a head coach.

JD:We did make the NCAA Tournament last year, and losing in the first round isn’t that bad.

Me: You’re right, it isn’t. A lot of good teams lose in the first round, but like all the losses last season, it was the way you lost and the way it was handled that was disturbing. Pitt’s defense, which was their trademark in years past, failed at key times. Chris Taft was allowed to loaf, free throw shooting stunk. You lost to Bucknell! To the public, you never seemed to care.

JD: It is what it is; a slight sophomore slump isn’t a big deal. My first team at Pitt finished 31-5, the best record in school history. We won a Big East title and advanced to the Sweet 16. That’s not good enough?

Me: And Walt Harris made a Bowl Championship Series bowl. That was Ben Howland’s team anyway; Chevy, Taft, Jaron and JP were all his guys. Now, Krauser is all that remains, it’s your team now.

JD: And there is nothing wrong with this year’s team. Sure we might be young, but that’s not going to be an excuse.

Me: You’re already considering your excuses? Look at Syracuse’s team, they are a lot like Pitt – a young team with a veteran point guard – and they were preseason ranked in the top 25. The difference? Hall of Fame coach Jim Boeheim. The Orange beat Texas Tech, 81-46, looking better versus a Sweet 16 team from last season than Pitt did against Saint Peter’s, who lost its first game of the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference tournament.

JD: So I’m not Jim Boeheim, but I do have the best winning percentage among Big East coaches.

Me: I am not saying you are a bad coach; you may end up a great coach. I’m just not sold yet.

JD: What about this year’s team? We have a bright future.

Me: This year’s team is sure to improve as the season goes on, but in the new Big East, stumbling during the non-conference schedule could create a hole too deep to climb from.

JD: And the future?

Me: There’s one of two paths for Pitt basketball. The first involves the NCAA tournament, where anything can happen, establishing Pitt in the upper echelon of the new Big East – the best basketball conference in the country.

JD: Sounds good to me, what about the second?

Me: The second involves the National Invitational Tournament, two disappointing seasons in a row and a trend towards mediocrity.

JD: So which path is it going to be?

Me: That’s up to you.

Keith Wehmeyer is a staff writer for the Pitt News. Interview him for real at keith.wehmeyer@gmail.com.