Oh-oh sweet thing, don’t you know you’re my everything

A couple I know had a really “experimental” weekend. After several days of being apart from… A couple I know had a really “experimental” weekend. After several days of being apart from each other they finally were able to sneak in some alone time. Soon after they left a trail from the doorway to the bedroom, there seemed to be a slight problem.

She “timed out.” Now, every woman has experienced this at least once. It’s the rare and unpredictable instance in which the water in “the well” runs dry. Disappointed and without Astroglide or KY jelly in sight, he decided to become resourceful. He went into the kitchen and stumbled upon Palmolive dishwashing liquid. Ignorantly thinking that soap couldn’t be that harmful, he proceeded to, well, yeah.

Then, without telling her, he resumed the activity as if all were normal until bubbles and sadly, also, tears started to appear. This tragic but serendipitous incident ended with a hose and a vinegar bath that seemed to last forever.

Now this obvious “do not try this at home” example illustrates what not to do regarding experimentation in your sex life. Although they were completely off base, this couple, technically, was headed in the right direction. There are truly a lot of things around the house or in your candy stash that can go a long way. And incorporating these things effectively in your sex life will take your orgasms to new and excitingly different heights.

I asked around in classes and stood outside the William Pitt Union to get some feedback and ideas from Pitt’s finest on everyday items that could go the distance, and these are the top things I came up with:

Listerine Strips. Although it normally functions as a breath freshener, its multi-faceted uses revolutionize foreplay and oral sex. Putting one of these in your mouth before kissing will not only ensure fresh breath, but it also induces a tingly feeling during foreplay that leaves your partner zinging with each breath you take. And during oral sex this cool-but-hot feeling gives men and women a sensation that curls toes for hours on end. Altoids also achieve similar results, with a slightly different feeling, but it’s definitely worth drawing a comparison between the two if you can’t stand the heat of the Listerine strips.

Fruit by the Foot. What was originally a tasty treat that became an added-bonus to a grade school lunch has become a delectable addition to your sex life. These rectangular sheets of fruity candy also have shapes that can be cut out to play more than peek-a-boo. The flavors are amazing and the suspense will halfway kill you as your partner inches his way to the end of this fruity yard. This candy not only compliments your sex life but it has the potential to knock you off not one, but both feet.

Ice. It chills, with the ability to burn you up all at the same time. A basic element that you can find in almost any freezer, ice will conjure goose bumps with every single touch. For guys with foot fetishes, ice can be a phenomenal additive to foreplay. If she has cold feet, you might want to start by simply kissing with a medium-sized ice cube in your mouth to avoid melting. When the ball is officially in your court you can work the ice from chest to toe, concentrating on erogenous zones.

Fruit bowls. For those who have phobias regarding oral sex, adding fruit to the equation can be a great way to make the foreign familiar. To do this the right way you should buy only juicy, fresh fruit. Kiwis, strawberries, oranges and definitely pineapples can be effective. Make sure they are cut into bite size pieces, and put into a large bowl ready to serve before you both dig in. To start, simply feed each other, sampling the juices of this delicious cocktail. Gradually incorporate them into foreplay and then oral sex by placing fruit in the areas that deserve the most attention. Your partner’s search for the fruit, making sure none is wasted, will spark an adventurous scavenger hunt in which you both are winners in the end.

There are also other traditional items television has been spicing sex scenes up with for years. Feel free to turn your partner into your very own ice-cream sundae, adding generous amounts of chocolate syrup, whipped cream and even, yes, a cherry on top.

As college students, the Jack Rabbit, priced at $45.99, might be slightly outside of our budget. So feel free to experiment, incorporating sweets for your sweet. But do it safely and use your head. Avoid putting any substances inside the genital area unless it naturally goes there. Sugar in the wrong place can cause a yeast infection. Now that the weather seems to be breaking – in its own way – I’m sure we all anticipate being cooped up on a cold day. And those little things – sweet things – are worth rediscovering.

When it comes to sex: be smart, be safe and be savvy! E-mail Rose at sex@pittnews.com.