Live in the golden moments

Memories are interesting things. Thinking back, if it wasn’t for the insane number of pictures… Memories are interesting things. Thinking back, if it wasn’t for the insane number of pictures taken on my graduation day that are ready and able to be used as a reference, the entire ceremony would’ve escaped me. And then there are the moments you actually live in, moments that don’t revolve around the capturing of it all, experiences that stay with you forever.

I lived in a moment last Friday at a conference I attended in New York City. As boring as that sentence implies my life is, this was the mother of all conferences hosted by the No. 1 magazine for women of color: Essence. This conference catered to fit my needs as a woman and an aspiring professional.

It was the second time I had attended the Women Who Are Shaping The World Leadership Summit at the world-renowned Pierre Hotel. But, like reading one of your favorite novels twice, I had been prepped for the personalities with whom I would interact.

I had my networking skills more refined than ever, copies of my resume printed on parchment, a freshly dry-cleaned suit and my game face turned on high. As I walked into breakfast at 7 a.m. optimistic about the 12 hours of convening ahead of me, the 500-plus women with similar goals were a great comfort.

For those who don’t know, this conference aims to empower women with strategies to tackle some of the problems women face in everyday situations at work. And while a lot of the information was aimed at how black women experience adversity on the job, there were some universal pearls of wisdom.

It’s difficult to single out one speaker, because all of them offered more than their mini-biographies that the itinerary promised. But if I had to single out two of the many phenomenal speakers, they would have to be Carla Harris and Michael Eric Dyson.

Carla Harris, the Managing Director at Morgan Stanley who was recently named one of “The 50 Most Powerful Black Executives in Corporate America” by Fortune Magazine, gave great advice on how to be tough without being the angry black woman.

Now, most of us have been clued into the stereotype. She’s the voice-raising, eye-rolling, neck-turning, finger-snapping and irate black woman that we all too often see in the media.

Unfortunately when it comes time to be serious on the job, women are afraid that their steadfastness will be confused with this gyrating image. So Carla Harris suggested that women be pleasant but not uncompromising. Whatever you say, say it with a smile.

Also, as a woman, it’s often all too easy to be silenced at the workplace. Thus Harris also advised that women should speak often, making sure they package their statements effectively, so that when they don’t speak, their silence is just as powerful as their voice.

Commentator and author Michael Eric Dyson was another phenomenal speaker. His speaking abilities are on a completely different level than anyone I have ever witnessed. I had heard about him long before meeting him and even saw him on a TV special incorporating Tupac lyrics into his repertoire. But on that Friday, I had never received advice from anyone quite like this.

He was confident, assertive and spoke with a lyricism that most contemporary rappers haven’t grasped. He talked at great length about the power dynamics in relationships and exclaimed, “Power is an aphrodisiac!” As African-American women are becoming the breadwinners of their race, he advised, “As a black woman, you need to know whether your man appreciates and understands your power.” Dyson also stressed to those worried that their partners won’t meet their intellectual requirements that, “Humanity is always better than intelligence.”

Other nuggets of wisdom that I plan on plastering to my bedroom walls for inspiration are: A setback is nothing but a setup for a comeback. Tragedy lies in not having any goals to meet. If your inauthenticity overwhelms your authenticity, don’t stay with anyone. To stumble is to not almost fall, but to move forward faster.

There is so much more I carry around with me from this 12-hour day of promise and progress. But to those who weren’t there, any time you get the opportunity to participate in something that promotes who you are, do it. And don’t just take pictures of the moment, live in it!

Rose is holding 17 cameras hostage in her cubicle at The Pitt News, and bidding starts at 12 a.m. tonight. E-mail Rose at sba1@pitt.edu.