Love is blind, not yet color blind; Zebonkey brings hope

A friend of mine recently brought his girlfriend home to meet his parents. He had previously… A friend of mine recently brought his girlfriend home to meet his parents. He had previously regaled them with descriptions of her beauty, intelligence and politeness. His parents were glad that he was happy with another person and seemed thrilled to finally meet this girl.

However, when my friend’s SUV rolled up to 42 Suburban Lane and they got out to a chorus of “Yay, they’re here,” his mom almost fell flat in the apple pie she had just made. Her little boy’s girlfriend was black.

Although it’s more socially acceptable to date people of a different race in the United States, there are still plenty of places where it is frowned upon, and plenty of people who give interracial couples the evil eye, or worse.

Pennsylvania still has the highest concentration of hate groups in the country. If you go northeast of the city, things get a little scary when you’re driving through a little town named after some biblical reference and you get nasty looks if you’re darker than Wonder Bread. It’s places like that, and people like my friend’s parents, that call into question all the progress society has supposedly made. How progressive are we?

Fortunately, there are beings other than humans that have taken on a greater challenge than us. While we’re still worried about mixing races, there are fellows with four legs fraternizing with other species.

On April 21, on the Caribbean island of Barbados, a zebra gave birth to a rather unusual foal: one that was sired by a donkey. The little creature is the color of milk chocolate with black zebra stripes on his legs and ears. His face resembles a horse, with a black, V-shaped patch on his forehead. I’ll bet that comes from his mother.

The newborn beast was named Alex, in what I am sure is one of the first instances of a creature being given a name before its species is designated.

No one is sure what to call Alex or any zebra-donkey hybrids that may follow him. A zonkey, perhaps? How about deebra? I prefer zebonkey, because it pays homage to both of his parents, and it also sounds silly. After all, if his parents loved each other that much, and love little Alex as well, he can take the teasing in school.

Well, actually, his parents probably don’t love each other. The donkey was probably walking by, saw the zebra drop something and said “I’d love me some of that.” It’s just instinct.

I’m not suggesting humans engage in interspecies procreation, but we have to accept the fact that all humans are equal, and that therefore it’s natural that some people will fall in love with a person without caring what color their skin is.

The only way to completely correct this problem is what a great philosopher called “a sponsored program of racial deconstruction.” Basically, it’s a relationship form of Affirmative Action: we have to date a person of a different color until we all look the same.

A student at the University of California proposed the solution to this puzzle with a drawing of a face including the features of every major ethnic group. Its skin color is a reddish-brown, both of its brown eyes are small and its features seem arbitrarily shortened and thinned.

This solution will never come to be, however, since some people will never see their way past tolerance to acceptance. Many people have not yet reached tolerance.

All that we can hope is that my friend may someday return to 42 Suburban Lane and his parents will be ready to give his girlfriend a hug, no matter what color she is.