Hygeine, safety and knowing your partner’s boundaries

Dear Rose,

Do women have to shave their pubic hair? If so, how much should be shaven off?… Dear Rose,

Do women have to shave their pubic hair? If so, how much should be shaven off?

To shave, or not to shave

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Dear To shave, or not to shave,

Not necessarily. For hygiene purposes, you should occasionally trim. For aesthetic purposes you do have a couple of options should you decide to shave.

A lot of women neatly shave and trim their pubic hairs into a box, a small strip or other fun shapes. This inexpensive procedure avoids some of the irritation associated with completely going bare and it also compliments a two-piece bathing suit. You may go bare and use skin-tone Clearasil to prevent ingrown hairs.

Lastly, you also have the option of a bikini or Brazilian wax. The former is a quick, longer-lasting way to be neatly shaped or completely bare. The latter is a procedure that leaves not only you completely bare but also takes care of all those hard-to-reach areas underneath. In the end, it’s all based on your preference.

Always,

Rose

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Dear Rose,

My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 years. Sex is good. But she won’t swallow. Is there any way I could get her to? And anal sex: Is it safe? We have tried it a few times and she is a little uneasy about it.

Ten years strong

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Dear Ten years strong,

To the first question: It’s worth a shot. Semen is an acquired taste that’s difficult for people to enjoy.

In encouraging your partner to swallow, make sure you drink a lot of water and liquids to make your sperm as palatable as possible. Watch your intake of beer, spicy foods, fries and garlic. They are rather potent contributors to a malodorous release, which is a deterrent from swallowing.

Next, approach the subject carefully, not forcefully, in one of those pillow talk moments after sex. Explain it to her in a way that relates how much it would turn you on and express that it’s something you’ve wanted to experiment with for a long time.

Make this act appear as something new for the two of you to experience together, a moment of intimacy. Find out what it is specifically about the act that she’s concerned about and tackle it head on.

If she is squeamish about taste, advise her to swallow quickly; the less time in the mouth, the less the taste. Contrary to popular belief, sperm is not sulfuric acid.

All things considered, your chances are kind of slim, considering that you’ve been with her for 10 years and she hasn’t had the urge to swallow yet. For your benefit, if she is not swayed, respect that. Not doing so could result in you not receiving oral sex at all or being a jerk.

As for the anal sex issue: All sex has risks. With the right precautions, you can achieve safe anal sex. You should note that penetration of the anus does have a higher risk of HIV, HPV, Hepatitis and E. coli. That said, it is of the utmost importance to have as safe sex as possible.

Here are some guidelines to safe and pleasurable anal play: First, using condoms with a water-based lubricant will offer the best protection. Second, always make sure that your bowel is empty and your anal area is clean. This is for aesthetic and health purposes.

Thirdly, the receiving partner must relax. This is easier said than done. I would encourage cunnilingus before hand because it not only relaxes the muscles but also the individual.

Fourth, when transferring from the anal area to the vaginal, always wash your hands and your penis before intercourse. This will maximize safety in anal sex.

Lastly, start small. Receiving pleasure through anal sex is a process that one can’t simply lunge into. It may take weeks to reach a level of optimal satisfaction. Start with manually stimulating the area with one finger in the first session, two in the next.

Also, a lot of women enjoy dual stimulation. Try using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation while penetrating with a small anal toy. This will build the intensity for her and it also helps to distract while relaxing. After several sessions of this, penetration will be a lot more comfortable and she’ll feel a lot less uneasy.

Ultimately, try to remember that everybody has his or her own comfort level when it comes to things like this. While these suggestions may help you get what you want, you have to remember that being in a relationship doesn’t entitle you to have your every whim satisfied. Some people simply won’t be comfortable or satisfied with certain things, and if that turns out to be the case, you may just have to live with it. In a relationship, that other person is a package deal, and if she just isn’t OK with swallowing or anal sex, then she just isn’t. If it turns out that way, remember that you’ve no doubt got plenty else to enjoy if you’ve been together for 10 satisfying years.

Always,

Rose

No matter which orifice, always, always, always have safe sex. E-mail Rose at sex@pittnews.com.