Fan desperate for hockey

I was tempted this past week, and tempted bad.

MLB Extra Innings almost sucked me in and… I was tempted this past week, and tempted bad.

MLB Extra Innings almost sucked me in and took 149 of my hard-earned dollars. I mean, as the commercial told me, “It’s only six bucks a week.”

I was so close to dialing. My cell phone was in hand, but then I snapped out of my MLB trance and into a world known as Frozen Four — three full NCAA hockey games, televised on ESPN and ESPN2.

I was like one of Pavlov’s dogs, salivating at the sound of skates on the ice, hits against the boards, and, ah yes, my favorite call, “He shoots and he scores!”

It was my first live hockey experience since game seven of last year’s Stanley Cup Finals, and it was much needed.

For the past month, I’ve noticed some shows that I have never seen before in my life and I’m sure it has a something to do with the void known as the NHL lockout.

Women’s curling was on ESPN last week. Nothing against the ladies, but curling … curling. Come on.

Then there was the world championship of arm wrestling alongside the paper-rock-scissors tournament, all on the great sports network, ESPN. I think chess is on next week, and if I’m not mistaken, I believe a staring competition will be shown live after SportsCenter.

Get this unnecessary junk off the air. Show it in SportsCenter’s Not-Top Ten, because there is one sport, American League Hockey (minor leagues), that is hitting playoff time, and it is entirely missing from the brand new, high-definition television I purchased.

Don’t be fooled by the label “minor leagues.” This is the Calder Cup playoffs I’m talking about.

I want to see it. I, in fact, demand to see it, and so should Pittsburghers.

How many Pittsburghers out there know that the Baby Pens are about to start round one of the 2005 Calder Cup playoffs? How many would like to watch them, or any other teams, through the Calder Cup playoffs?

Yes, playoffs. I understand that this concept is hard for Pirates and Penguins fans of late to grasp, but the Baby Pens are there again.

With three games left, they have clinched a playoff berth, and Wilkes-Barre is preparing for a party on April 25, which will be the first home playoff game for the Baby Pens.

Again, I ask: Does anyone want to see this?

My hand is raised. Is yours?

Fox Sports Net Pittsburgh has been replaying the “great” Penguin games of all time throughout this past year to make up for the lack of Pittsburgh sports to cover. Money was lost because there was no hockey, so when baseball started, this town — fans and media alike — went nuts. Well, until the Pirates managed to score four runs to their opponents’ 19.

Can I get a “Next year,” anyone?

Or can I get an AHL Calder Cup playoff game?

I really hope the sports networks out there take advantage of what’s right in front of them. In my mind, there is nothing better than a playoff hockey game — in the world of sports, of course.

There’s no reason that at least 50 percent of the Calder Cup playoff games cannot be televised. There’s a large audience out there just interested in hockey. Pittsburgh fans could already use a break from the Pirates. The Baby Pens are 37-26-7-7 as of right now. The pitiful Pirates should be near that loss total in about 30 games.

Pittsburgh needs help, and hockey fans need help. Bring back Gary Thorne, Barry Melrose and Darren Pang.

Bring back the Labatt Blue commercials with the bear playing hockey … Beer me.

I want the “Hockey Falls,” commercials with the three guys with insane mullets that put Melrose to shame.

And yes, bring back Bill Clement. I said it.

Bring them all back for the Calder Cup playoffs because, at this rate, it’ll be the same as watching the Stanley Cup next year if nothing changes. With the NHL saying there will be a season next year no mater what and the players not agreeing, this means only one thing: replacements.

These replacements will come from the minor leagues, which means the Baby Pens may actually have a growth spurt next year and become full-grown Pens.

Plus, they have instated several of the rule changes that the NHL plans to put into effect “next season.”

It could be a preview into the new NHL, and it can save sports fans from having to watch curling, arm wresting and paper-rock-scissors.

Than again, I could order MLB extra innings. I mean, it’s only six bucks a week.