Give the gift she’ll love forever — here’s a hint: it’s not diamonds

Oral sex is hands-down the best thing that you can do for any woman. As prefaced in my column… Oral sex is hands-down the best thing that you can do for any woman. As prefaced in my column last week, this is part two of the oral sex guide, in which I will discuss what is clinically known as cunnilingus.

Many have asked: Is it as simple as clitoral stimulation or is it more? When considering the female genitalia, there is a significant amount of surface area you are dealing with, and sometimes it’s difficult to know where to focus your attention. With men, you can’t miss it; it’s simply strategy. With women, it’s a science.

So listen up. Even if you’re not the most endowed, you ejaculate prematurely or impotency is knocking at your door, if you get this right, she will love you for life.

First, we’ll start with some grooming tips. Next, we will discuss positions and technique. Last, like last week’s column about men, we’ll go through it step by step.

The first thing women should know is that men indeed have a love/hate relationship with our goodies. What they are willing to penetrate they’re seemingly reluctant to put their faces in.

So, our job is to make it as attractive as possible, hygiene-wise and aesthetically.

At the least, you must keep it neatly shaped and trimmed. Bear in mind that women are not the only ones who need to shave. Clean-shaven faces are vagina-friendly and necessary for avoiding rug burn.

Also, you may want to schedule a shower before this activity to keep yourself fresh and clean. If even after you shower you give off an unpleasant smell, postpone all sexual activities and get it checked out. Lastly, avoid garlic and other potent substances; they don’t just show up on your breath.

Now, we will consider positions and technique. If you are both virgins to this type of oral sex, your best bet is her lying down or sitting up on the bed with you lying in between or her sitting at the edge of the bed with you kneeling.

For the pros, you have the option of her straddling your face. For those in medias res, sideways is another option. And if she is on her side, you can lay your head on her thigh for extra comfort.

A note on 69s, or simultaneous, partner-to-partner oral sex: It is always on option, but if you want to get this right, it may distract you.

On to technique, Jeopardy! style:

“The No. 1 female sex organ.”

“What is the clitoris?”

Correct. This small knob of pink flesh is crucial. Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take. If that’s your girl, the key is to indirectly stimulate. If she can keep up, think of the clitoris as licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky.

Gently lapping and increasing with intensity from the entrance to the clitoris is also effective. Also, the tongue is the strongest muscle, but don’t confuse it with your muscle. So while the penetrative action feels nice, it’s not earthshaking, so vary in your activity.

In oral sex for women, anticipation is everything. Let your tongue work its way down. Start by kissing the lips, then proceeding to the neck, then pay attention to the breasts, then tummy and thighs. Make her wait until her hips start straining upward yearning for a kiss on those lips. Then, stop.

It’s time for safe sex.

Oral condoms called dental dams prevent the spread of diseases, specifically those that were mentioned in part one of the oral sex guide. They resemble a condom split lengthways and they do come in mint flavor. Stash them in your condom drawer for added protection.

Now proceed to explore. Try to relax, because almost anything that you do is, at the very least, pleasurable. Keep in mind the techniques stressed above and also something called the “love letter” approach.

This involves your tongue acting like a pen, spelling out each letter of the sentences you’ve made. This ensures variety and prevents over-stimulation.

Next, never be afraid to manually stimulate or penetrate with your fingers — keep those nails trimmed! — while maintaining a steady rhythm with your tongue. This is crucial when she is approaching an orgasm. Female orgasms last a long time; don’t stop until she pushes you away. She might do this because of sensitivity afterwards, so don’t be offended.

Remember: The key to pleasing women sexually is in pleasing them selflessly.

And even with oral, always, always, always have safe sex. E-mail Rose at sex@pittnews.com.