Do you like to watch? Voyeurism can be sexy, criminal

You walk into your one-bedroom apartment after a long day of work. You abandon your jacket… You walk into your one-bedroom apartment after a long day of work. You abandon your jacket behind your closed bedroom door. You leave a trail of clothing to the bathroom, anticipating the massage mode on your showerhead.

After fatigue notifies you that you’re clean, you emerge nude into the cool airiness of your bedroom space — and you get that eerie feeling. After you check all the windows, you still look over shoulder because you can’t shake that someone is watching you.

Last week’s column featured questions from a woman whose boyfriend loves to watch her masturbate and a man who would “love to watch” his wife with another man. Several requests from readers led me to ask: What is it about watching people that is so arousing? What is so sexually appealing about a woman touching herself?

Are these simply kinks and fetishes with consenting exhibitionists, or does this speak to the state of our society?

Voyeurism, a practice in which an individual derives sexual pleasure from watching other people, can be observed everywhere today, especially between the unscripted lines in reality TV. With the casting of more than attractive, conflicting characters, viewers stay tuned as the sexual tension heightens after every “uncut” episode.

Reality TV moments rival those in the soft-core porn of yesteryear, as noted on an episode of “Married by America” where men spanked and even licked whipped cream off of the strippers’ breasts.

Given the tremendous popularity of camera phones, the constant surveillance in our everyday settings and the reality shows, there is no doubt that we are a nation that has made a spectacle of the ordinary.

Our glorified desire to tune into the secret lives of Hollywood celebrities is also seen in Pamela and Tommy Lee’s sexcapade footage from their ’97 honeymoon. This desire to view others in their most intimate sexual moments sustains supermarket tabloids’ combined weekly circulations in the tens of millions.

Online voyeurism is seen in the astounding number of video clips and pictures that we may retrieve through the even more sinister practice of illegal downloading. These hidden cameras at satellite locations feature mostly women from private vantage points.

More familiarly, we identify voyeurs with the stigmatizing but harmless phrase “peeping Tom.” Clinically, a voyeur is someone who seeks out instances in which they are observing an unsuspecting person who is naked, getting naked or engaging in sexual activity.

A certain amount of voyeurism is considered normal. Have you ever wondered why it’s difficult to avert your gaze when your mate undresses? Why “Showgirls” seemed so interesting despite that annoying “Saved By the Bell” blonde? Or maybe why Playboy is the longest running sex publication to date? These forms of media are consumed in vast amounts each day to satiate our very healthy desires.

But voyeurism is categorized as a sexual disorder and even a sex crime in some societies. For instance, in the United Kingdom nonconsensual voyeurism is a criminal offense.

Despite these sanctions, a significant percentage of the population exhibits voyeuristic tendencies, including 95 percent of all rapists and sex offenders in the United States. But this behavior by most people is kept in check by the fear of being ostracized, labeled or arrested when caught.

Thankfully, we have the media as an outlet, since it allows us to fulfill our voyeuristic desires in a socially acceptable and rather inexpensive way.

Bringing the argument to Pitt, it is interesting to note potential opportunities for unsuspecting spectators on Pitt’s campus. Our living quarters’ close proximity and campus buildings’ designs, such as the Towers, make it all too easy to eavesdrop and observe the secret happenings that occur on the other side of dorm walls. Watching other people unbeknownst to them qualifies as harassment, so please keep acts of voyeurism and exhibitionism — showing off — between consenting partners.

Whether it is dysfunctional or completely normal, voyeurism still raises some serious questions about privacy and we are left to speculate where voyeurism will be in 10 years if more laws against it do not appear.

That said, the innate desire to be a voyeur is ultimately an urge to vicariously experience what we don’t have the opportunity, or the will to engage in. The rule that applies is: It is OK to be voyeur of a consenting exhibitionist. It is a legitimate and fun way to further discover your mate, so enjoy.

Always, always, always practice safe sex. E-mail Rose at sex@pittnews.com.