EDITORIAL – MNF segment fine; Powell leaving even better

A new era is upon us — a new Michael Powell-less FCC era, that is.

The Federal… A new era is upon us — a new Michael Powell-less FCC era, that is.

The Federal Communications Commission voted unanimously yesterday that a “Monday Night Football” intro segment in which “Desperate Housewives” actress Nicollette Sheridan exposed — gasp — her naked back did not qualify as indecent.

Powell, who resigned as FCC chair in January and is leaving this week, called the segment “very disappointing.” We also found the segment disappointing, as we were hoping for at least one exposed nipple.

From the FCC’s ruling and Powell’s statement, it’s clear that there was a bit of friction between the rest of the regulatory commission and its chair.

While Powell ruled the segment wasn’t indecent, this decision might be more because he’s worried about recasting his legacy. In several statements following his resignation after a seven-year term with the FCC, he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be remembered solely for indecency fines.

Too bad for him, because that’s precisely what he’ll be remembered for.

Under Powell’s regime, the FCC proposed higher fines for indecency, a rather hazy term for content that’s not quite obscene and not quite kosher. Unlike obscenity, which several handy Supreme Court rulings define, the FCC uses its own definition for indecency: “language or material that … depicts or describes, in terms patently offensive as measured by contemporary community broadcast standards for the broadcast medium, sexual or excretory organs or activities.”

Not really sure what’s indecent from that definition? Yeah, we’re not too clear either. But what we do know is that, under Powell, the FCC’s influence over broadcasts grew to unheard-of levels.

For instance, networks hesitated in broadcasting “Saving Private Ryan” on Veteran’s Day, for fear that the FCC would fine them because it contained swearing. This fear may have been unjustified — Powell later said that the movie was good to go — but the networks’ hesitance speaks to the FCC’s outrageous amount of power.

Thankfully, Powell’s leaving, and the FCC can return to some sort of normal enforcement of its indecency regulations.

President George W. Bush hasn’t picked a new commissioner, but we have a few suggestions. SpongeBob SquarePants — that lovable, possibly gay, undersea creature — would make a good commissioner, although he’d have to make sure that his pants stay both square and on. Hell, Dana Carvey as the “Church Lady” from the “Saturday Night Live” skit is more in touch with community values than Powell was.

Whoever Bush picks, be they critter or cross-dresser, the new appointee needs to stop using the indecency regulations to over-fine networks. Also, it needs to set up clear, logical guidelines concerning what constitutes indecency.

Lastly, the new commissioner has to realize that three angry phone calls — or 100 angry calls all from one crotchety organization — do not a national crisis make. Habitual FCC-callers, like the Parents Television Council, don’t represent contemporary community values. Please, after the first few calls, just let the phone ring.

So goodbye, Michael Powell. We won’t miss you.