Orgasms for dummies, part two: How to keep it going

Premature ejaculation, a rather dated term, can be most commonly identified as basically… Premature ejaculation, a rather dated term, can be most commonly identified as basically having an orgasm too quickly or not lasting long enough to induce an orgasm in your partner. Rapid ejaculation has spawned contemporary terms like “minuteman” and “one-hitter-quitter.”

Despite all the comic relief surrounding the Johnny-come-quickly, we will, as I promised, discuss how men are more than equipped to prolong sex and build stamina, just as women must activate their orgasmic potential. The No. 1 question asked by both men and women is, in a nutshell, “How can men last longer in bed?”

So now that it has been addressed why she won’t come, let’s discuss why he comes too quickly.

The Journal of the American Medical Association reported three in 10 men experience sexual difficulty. So for all the men who are reading this, you’re not alone, and this isn’t an insurmountable feat. The first thing men must do is overcome the mental inhibitions associated with this problem. Men today face the emasculating stigma associated with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and impotency. In every newspaper and magazine, there’s a plethora of advertisements marketed to men in a way that suggests men with this problem are inadequate.

Because of the current media campaign to expose men for their shortcomings, solving this problem relies on understanding that coming quickly is manageable. This starts by identifying coming quickly as just that and pushing aside the terminology that can fatally diagnose one’s attitude and outlook. For the record, the “average” single guy lasts seven minutes during intercourse, and the “average” married guy lasts 14 minutes during intercourse, so regardless of where you fall on the sex spectrum, you don’t have too long to go.

Here’s some advice on prolonging the inevitable:

First, if you care about lasting longer to please your partner, foreplay is your friend. To balance out the pleasurable outcome, always stimulate your partner so that, if she is shortchanged, she’ll still have had a pleasurable experience.

Orgasms are what they are — orgasmic. But the fact is that women can enjoy sex and stimulation without it. (If you’re stubborn, you might want to reread that last line.) As we also discussed earlier, women are multi-orgasmic beings, and what you can’t achieve through sex, you can achieve manually. This applies for same-sex partners as well.

Another trick is, when engaging in oral stimulation, always receive first as opposed to giving, or master the art of the 69. This will give you time to recuperate while you are stimulating your partner.

Next is the actual practice: So now you are in. You’re temperature increases, your heart speeds up, you feel that telling tingling, and you are about to extinguish the internal fires. It’s coming — and she’s enjoying herself. You can see it in her eyes: She’s not there yet. What do you do?

You stop. Stop all movement, and have your partner form a ring around the base of your penis with her index finger and thumb, holding it firmly for several seconds until the urge subsides. Once you’ve regained your composure, slowly resume your activities, keeping in mind that most men can only sustain active thrusting during intercourse for two minutes before reaching climax. That should give you an idea of how you want to pace yourself.

Other alternatives are extended-pleasure condoms, which work with a mild anesthetic that serves as a desensitizer. If none of the above assist with stamina, I would encourage consulting your physician about a cream or medicine, such as the ever-popular Viagra, that might prove to be more effective.

To your credit, keep in mind that this is a mostly college-aged audience; we are all truly at the beginning stages of our experience. So don’t sweat the small stuff, and focus on mutual pleasure and intimacy that will involve a level of satisfaction that will alleviate the pressures that go along with being a man in a sexual situation today.

And remember: Always, always, always practice safe sex. Safely e-mail Rose at sex@pittnews.com.