A man’s quest from Pittsburgh to Phoenix

Had my iPod not been able to fit so many songs, I may not have made it through to share my… Had my iPod not been able to fit so many songs, I may not have made it through to share my newfound airport experiences. One of the longest weekends I can remember would have been that much longer without music.

I ventured to Arizona for the Fiesta Bowl by way of Pittsburgh, Minneapolis and then Phoenix. Not only did I learn too much about airports that weekend, I also learned a lot about myself — like just how much I value sleep.

Traveling independently of my co-workers was perhaps the biggest mistake of all. Nevertheless, I departed Pittsburgh on New Year’s Eve, but not before my flight was delayed.

Not a problem in the beautiful Pittsburgh International Airport. I grabbed a cup of coffee and proceeded to my gate. I turned on my computer, which automatically connected to the airport’s lightning-fast wireless Internet connection. After winning some online poker games, it was time to board.

But, what is this? I don’t have a reserved seat?

That’s OK; the airline “upgraded” me to a first class seat due to the mix-up, free of charge.

First class wasn’t exactly what I had dreamed about, nor was it like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry meets that gorgeous model. An extra drink and a pillow was really all it was. But I was enthralled.

We touched down in Minneapolis on time. The Twin Cities’ airport is also filled with shops and food courts as far as the eye can see. It was a three-hour layover, so I ate, walked around a bit and then stationed myself at one of the many Starbucks until my flight departed for Phoenix.

I felt, at this point, that I was two-for-two on airports for the weekend. Too bad the weekend didn’t end there.

Unfortunately, our fabulous hotel resort was only reserved through Sunday, Jan. 2, and I was unable to find a return flight that day. The first available was early on Jan. 3. Translation: I would be seeking refuge in Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport for a night. It’s a nice airport, but older than my previous two stops. There was no wireless Internet connection. But that was OK, because the airport’s Web site says there would be plug-in access in terminals three and four.

“They took the Internet thingies out because so many people use cell phones now,” an airline representative told me.

Come again?

Whatever. I shrugged it off, figuring I could find other ways to entertain myself. Each terminal was a good distance from the others, but what was fascinating was that apparently, once I entered my terminal, I couldn’t get to the others. So I checked in Sunday afternoon, planning to watch the Bills-Steelers game before seeing what else the terminal had to offer.

A Wendy’s, a Starbucks, a bar and grill and a small newsstand. In other words, I was confined to my laptop, a book and really cool Oral B Brush-ups my parents had put in my stocking. Turned out all the fun stuff was in terminal four, but the security guy told me I wasn’t allowed to leave and go through security again. Well, at least my teeth were cleaner than ever before.

After a hearty dinner (I Biggie-sized it!), I craved more football, since it was, in fact, Sunday, so I went back to the bar and grill at roughly 5 p.m. To my surprise, it had closed down for the day.

Confused, I turned away from the dark restaurant, not knowing the disappointment that awaited me…

Geoff Dutelle hopes that anyone flying the friendly skies this weekend is safe and has an iPod with them for any unexpected delays. E-mail him at gdutes_pittnews@hotmail.com, and find out how his story ends in Tuesday’s paper.