Lifestyles of the poor and jobless – the show!

Welcome to Lifestyles of the Poor and Jobless. I’m Joy, and I’ll be your host for today. On… Welcome to Lifestyles of the Poor and Jobless. I’m Joy, and I’ll be your host for today. On today’s show, we’re zeroing in on the lives of three recent Pitt graduates. We’re taking an up-close look into what it’s like for them to have a diploma in their hands, the world in the palm of their hands, yet no job to pay for daily household products — like soap — to wash those hands.

Please help me in welcoming our first guest. She’s been out of school for six months, graduated with a degree in communications and loves “Days of Our Lives.” Give it up for Amy.

Amy: Hi, everyone. Like Joy said, my name is Amy, and I graduated from Pitt with a bachelor’s in communications. I was a good student — an excellent student, actually. I even had a couple favorite classes. TV and Society was up there on my list because we watched television and talked about society. My Media Criticism class was great because we criticized media. And Discussion was by far the best because we discussed stuff. Yeah, those were cool.

Basically, my communications degree has made me a better talker and television-watcher. I use it quite effectively to watch soap operas while on the phone, explaining to my mother why I don’t have a job. So just like my adviser promised me, I do use my knowledge in everyday life.

Joy: Yes, but do you have a job?

Amy: No, but I’m thinking about going back for a couple more years, you know, to learn to talk some more and watch the episodes of “Fresh Prince” and “Roseanne” that we didn’t cover in the first four years.

Joy: Well said. But while you’re making your final decision on that, let’s introduce our second guest. Darren double-majored in both sociology and history. Darren, tell us your story.

Darren: Hi, I’m Darren. I love sociology because I get to study people who are alive, and I love history because I get to study people who are dead.

After graduating with a bachelor’s in sociology, I now understand that some people like some people while other people don’t like other people. This is something I could never have figured out on my own. And with my history and sociology skills combined, I learned that when other people don’t like other people, they fight. Fighting is like war. War is bad, and it kills people. But when people die, they don’t have any more chances to hate each other. So war helps people get along … sort of. Anyhow, this degree helped me to get along with Courtney so we don’t fight and kill each other.

Joy: And who is Courtney, if you don’t mind my asking?

Darren: Oh, she’s my co-worker at McDonalds. She was a film studies major. She uses her major too. She lets little kids know all about the movies that their Happy Meal toys come from.

Joy: Speak of the devil! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Courtney! Courtney, tell us a little bit about the past four years.

Courtney: Well, like Darren said, I’m a film scholar. But I also graduated with a certificate in English. My classes were really challenging. I had teachers who spoke English daily and made us read books in English. But I think I picked the right combination of majors because now I’m able to watch movies in English and read their book versions, too. It’s been hard getting here, but I made it.

Joy: But Courtney, what exactly do you plan on doing with all this knowledge?

Courtney: Well, I was thinking about starting an organization where I could teach other American students to watch American movies and read their corresponding books. I figure it could be my way of giving back to society.

Joy: Do you honestly feel that there is a need for this?

Courtney: No, I don’t think it’s needed. I think it’s necessary.

Joy: Do you realize that “needed” and “necessary” mean the same thing? Do you realize that, as an English major, you should know this? And do you realize that any non-English major would know this too?

Before you answer that, I’m afraid its time to conclude the show. I’d like to thank my guests, Amy, Darren and Courtney for showing up today. I wish you all the best of luck in your endeavors, and I especially hope that you get a clue. To all of you out there, thanks for tuning in. We’ll see you next time on Lifestyles of the Poor and Jobless.

While you re-reconsider changing your major for the fifth time, don’t … because the fifth ends up being the same as the first. Ask Joy how she knows at .