Stand up, tell ’em you’re from Pittsburgh

I’m six months away from graduation and the end of my lease on an apartment that will be way… I’m six months away from graduation and the end of my lease on an apartment that will be way out of my price range when my parents cut the cord in April. With my transition into the real world creeping up with increasing speed, I find myself answering a terrifying question more and more frequently: “What are you going to do after college?”

It’s easy enough to shake off this question with a simple, “Get a job.” But the question that tends to follow that answer is not so easy to respond to: “You’re not going to stay in Pittsburgh, are you?”

This is where I blush a little, saying, “I wouldn’t mind,” and someone inevitably groans, rattling off a long list of reasons why Pittsburgh sucks. Pittsburgh’s dying, Pittsburgh’s a trap, and so on.

I, for one, am sick of it! There are two types of Pittsburghers — those who hear WPXI’s jingle “Stand Up and Tell Them You’re From Pittsburgh” and cringe in embarrassment and those who catch a giddy — if irrational — case of “hometown pride.”

Yes, Pittsburgh can suck, Pittsburgh’s dying, and Pittsburgh has an uncanny ability to trap people into never venturing beyond their comfort zone. But this could be said about many cities. Sorry, guys. Pittsburgh’s not so bad.

I’ve spent a lot of time in a lot of places. I’ve enjoyed extended visits to my dad when he lived in Manhattan and now Boston, months at a time admiring Phoenix’s incomparable sunsets, countless weekends in dirty Philadelphia, a long trip to Italy shuttling between bustling Florence and its serene countryside, family reunions in Connecticut and Florida and vacations to various parts of the country and beyond. I must say, however, there is no place in the world where I’m happier than on my front porch with a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other right here in Pittsburgh. So why does everyone keep trying to convince me to leave?

Anywhere a person ends up will inevitably lose its luster with time. It seems to happen pretty quickly in Pittsburgh and, OK, I understand why. Our terrible transportation system is frustrating. The mass exodus of concert venues is depressing. The dismal singles scene is heartbreaking. The weather is inexcusably awful. Yet I strongly believe that Pittsburgh could be an amazing place if everyone stopped criticizing it and started working to make it a better place. If it’s off-limits to crack jokes about my mom, why can people crack jokes about my city?

Pittsburgh’s cheap, clean and relatively safe. Although Oakland’s slowly becoming a generic, corporate-owned strip mall, Pitt is still a beautiful campus. There are various neighborhoods with vibrant, independent shops and restaurants — they’re all different enough to appease anyone. There are lots of things to do here. Finding them doesn’t require nearly as much effort as people tend to believe. Put yourself on the Happenings mailing list. Read the event listings in City Paper, for Pete’s sake!

I’m taking a stand against anyone who tries to make me feel ashamed for being happy to live here and comfortable with the fact that this could be my home for a while. People like that are the reason WPXI feels the need to make commercials with cheesy songs imploring residents to appreciate their city. I’d tell such negative Nancies to get the hell out of my city if it’s so awful, but I’m a good citizen who knows Pittsburgh needs their money.

When you’re feeling a bit jaded about this town, leave for a couple days, return at night, slowly emerge from the Liberty Tunnel and take in the absolute beauty that is the beaming Pittsburgh skyline. If that’s not enough to tug at your heartstrings a little, force you to swallow your cynicism and admit Pittsburgh isn’t so bad, then I feel sorry for you. You hate where you live. The terrorists have won.

Don’t have fun in Pittsburgh? It’s because you don’t hang out with me! E-mail Jen Dionisio at jdd36@pitt.edu.