How to deal with a wonder of a fetish

I am absolutely obsessed with the comic book character Wonder Woman. Here is this gorgeous,… I am absolutely obsessed with the comic book character Wonder Woman. Here is this gorgeous, sexy woman running around in a skimpy outfit beating up guys. Wonder Woman is such a guy’s wet dream: She loses her superpowers if a man ties her up. She wears star-spangled tights, a red top and boots. I love wintertime, watching the girls walk around in their high-heeled boots and miniskirts! Lynda Carter was so curvy and voluptuous. The dark hair and blue eyes — so sexy!

Anyway, my girlfriend is really a nice girl and went to Costume World in the Strip last year, rented a costume and surprised me with it, even though she doesn’t care for role-playing. None of my previous girlfriends ever bothered to try because the idea of pretending to be a Catholic schoolgirl was too much.

Are other guys obsessed with Wonder Woman like me? I feel a bit like a freak about it, but I suspect most guys feel the same way. And why do most guys love blondes so much? Jessica Simpson? Britney Spears? Girls with dark, raven-black hair are so mysterious and they have this allure that most women don’t have.

–James

Well, Jim, first you should stop worrying about what other guys like in bed. This innocent fetish of yours doesn’t hurt anyone, so why does it matter? Also, dark-haired, blue-eyed, ivory-skinned Amazons aren’t sexy to everyone. They’re sexy to you.

Now, you have a thing for Wonder Woman; I also think you’ve got a little thing for bondage/domination. Still, don’t play too innocent with me. Most guys don’t have wet dreams about being beaten up by women, James. So you’ve got this attraction to Wonder Woman — this dominatrix type who kicks man-ass from dawn to dusk. But you also go for the ultra-submissive naughty Catholic schoolgirl. Cool, you’re adjusted in your fetish.

That’s pretty normal, so you can relax. Everybody likes a little power — or a little power over them — in bed. That’s what attraction is. Anyway, a “bottom” and a “top” probably aren’t even in your sexual lexicon. And this seems to be a light fetish.

My advice to you is to lose the costumes. It’s cute, but this whole fetish is a bit juvenile, and that’s probably because you never lived it out as a kid and only discovered this fetish as a man. There’s nothing wrong with being a little childish, but most girls feel self-conscious about getting some love while wearing a sequined tiara.

But most girls don’t have a problem with being aggressive towards a guy they’ve been with for a little while. So try something a little more mature. See if your “really nice” girlfriend likes talking dirty to you, sans star-spangled Wonderbra. Run with that for a while. She’d probably be more into it if you find out her little fetishes as well. Maybe she has a thing for Superman.

And you don’t always have to be so blunt, either. Instead of babbling about this “other woman” and taking away all the fun, just take some initiative and leave room for interpretation. You don’t need to flat out tell the girl, “I can only get off to Wonder Woman. Do me.” This girl bought the costume of a vintage superhero and S’M icon months before Halloween; she’s into a little kink.

Now be a man. Go get what you want, and surprise her with a leather bustier. And if you’re worried about being normal, you should know that Wilson’s Leather in the mall sells them. It’s the least you can do. From there you go to handcuffs, riding crops and the inevitable Prince Albert piercing.

I bet that once your little super-heroine smacks you in the face a few times you’ll forget all about Wonder Woman. You’ve got to realize that it’s not the outfit — it’s the idea. Forget playing out a scenario; make it real life. You’ve got a long, twisted road of depravity ahead of you, Son. Find someone who can enjoy it with you and roll.

Oh yeah, one more thing, man. Leave the blondes alone.

Anthony isn’t a superhero. He just plays one on television. Ask him a sex question at sex@pittnews.com.