Just keep your wallets and your mouth shut

Once again, teams from Philly show that they cannot win, while the Baby Penguins are showing… Once again, teams from Philly show that they cannot win, while the Baby Penguins are showing the Pittsburgh Penguins what it’s like to win. On the same note, other NHL teams are showing that you don’t have to open the wallet to win, while Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace is opening something else for a win — his mouth.

A horse, of course.

It’ll be a sad day for Philadelphians if Smarty Jones, the Philly native, wins the Triple Crown at Belmont Stakes on June 5. It would mean that the only thing to win in the city of Philadelphia in the past 21 years is a horse.

The Flyers had a great chance to change that, but their loss in game seven in the Eastern Conference Finals ended the dreams of every cheese steak-eating citizen of Philadelphia — myself included.

Ruslan Fedotenko, former Flyer, now member of the Tampa Bay Lightning, scorched Philly for six goals and an assist in the series. One of his goals was a game winner.

Philly just can’t win, even when it comes to trading players.

Who you calling baby?

The Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins, more often referred to as the Baby Pens, are in the Eastern Conference Finals and are two wins away from a trip to the Calder Cup Finals. The team is powered by several players who were on the NHL Penguins before head coach Eddie Olczyk sent them down to the minors for extra playing time.

Players like Tom Kostopoulos, Tomas Surovy and Konstantin Koltsov, who together played in 189 NHL games this past season, are now crucial parts of Wilkes-Barre’s run for the Calder Cup. Kostopoulos has seven goals and 11 assists in the 17 playoff games played.

Even goaltender Andy Chiodo, who was called up to play eight games for the Penguins, has a 7-3 playoff record and a goals-against average of 1.66.

The Pittsburgh Penguins haven’t even drafted next year’s “rookie of the year” wannabe, and Pittsburghers are already getting excited for next season. The team has many young, bright stars, and management is conducting business the only way it can — by sticking with young, low-priced talent.

Cheaper by the dozen.

Speaking of low-priced talent, the Penguins could find themselves in the Stanley Cup playoffs next year with just that.

Don’t laugh.

Today’s NHL has made it highly possible.

Calgary and Tampa Bay are in the finals. The Flames are 19th in the league in payroll with $35.2 million and the Lightning are 21st with $33.5 million. Last year, the Minnesota Wild advanced to the Western Conference Finals with a payroll of only $20.5 million, so the Penguins’ meager $26.6 million payroll could easily land Pittsburgh in the playoffs next year.

If not, perhaps another run at the Calder Cup?

Satisfaction guaranteed.

He is the Nostradamus of basketball.

I take that back. He was just lucky.

Rasheed Wallace said after game one that the Pacers would not win game two. When questioned by reporters on his statement, he said again, “They will not win game two.”

The next day, ESPN blew up the quote by showing guarantees of past — both ones that came true and others that were less successful. Guarantees like the one Mark Messier made in the Eastern Conference Finals of the Stanley Cup in 1994. He proclaimed that the Rangers would win, and he backed it up with a hat trick.

Wallace is fortunate that he can lump himself in the category of the athletes who successfully predicted the outcome of a game. He, too, backed it up by scoring 10 points, pulling down eight rebounds and blocking five shots in the Pistons’ 72-67 win over the Pacers.

So will he guarantee another win?

Who really cares? ESPN blew this up, just as they do with many other stories and made it into more than it really was. He said they were going to win. That’s all. Honestly, how many players would go to the camera and say, “We’re not going to win.” Every day athletes are saying they are going to win, it’s just a matter of whether a microphone is in front of their faces that day.

Jimmy Johnson is the assistant sports editor for The Pitt News and he guarantees that this Philadelphian writer is winning readers over on the wings of a small payroll. E-mail him at Jimmysjargon@yahoo.com.