He’s a fighter, and maybe a lover, too

Dear Sex N’at,

I have a question about something that I have always been told. I was… Dear Sex N’at,

I have a question about something that I have always been told. I was raised to believe that every girl is looking for a nice guy. I always believed that was bull but never realized just how much until recently. A couple weeks back I was in a fight and it got pretty messy. I’m not proud of what happened but I especially don’t know how to respond to the attention I recently have been getting. My question is, why would a girl exert so much more effort in me after this incident? I really could care less about these girls because they’re obviously fake but I wanted to know if you could give me an insight to what the hell goes through their head

The Brawler

Dear Brawler,

During the fight, did you rip away your unassuming flannel shirt to reveal Groundskeeper Willie-esque rippling abs and bulging pecs? Because, you know, that kind of element of surprise can really do a lot to get the chicks’ attention.

Just kidding.

I wish I knew a little bit more about the fight, but it sounds like it was pretty dumb. I think if it were to avenge the honor of some homely, sad girl who’d been getting picked on and was crying, you’d tell me and it might make a little more sense for the ladies to start a-flockin’.

So, going on the assumption that it was a dumb fight for dumb reasons, why are certain ladies noticing you more?

I’m going to agree with you that these particular ladies may be unique among women, i.e., that their intentions may be a bit less than honorable. Personally, I detest fighting, and whoever raised you to believe that every girl wants a nice guy is probably in the same school of thought as I am — fighting is not a desirable trait in a long-term or serious relationship with emotions invested.

But the thing about fighting is this. It displays, with no room for doubt, a certain degree of aggression and physical prowess — very alpha-male kinds of traits. For some women, these are the most important attributes a man can have — if they only want the man around for physical and aggressive purposes.

In other words, the girls who swoon at seeing you fight are probably only interested in your stud capabilities — not a bad thing, necessarily, just not a sweet and wonderful love thing. They want nice guys eventually, probably, but they sure wouldn’t mind going a few rounds with a wild man such as you have proven yourself to be.

Another thought is that these particular women are of the type who often get themselves into trouble and need to have Thor at their sides, in case a situation arises. And those are the kinds of women everyone wants to date!

Your conclusions are pretty much correct. The women who, post-brawl, are the most interested in you are not the ones you want to be chasing down with roses and jewelry — a six-pack and a pocket full of latex, maybe, but nothing more.

When the brawler-chasers are ready to settle down, they’ll likely find docile nerds to rub their corns for them, and remember their brawlers fondly. Get in on their memory banks, if you wish. When you want to meet a woman who does want a real, kind man, and you want to be that man, hang up your gloves and become a lover, not a fighter.

After this Wednesday’s E-Week Poker tournament, Melissa Meinzer fully expects to be hired in Vegas as a poker dealer. E-mail her at sex@pittnews.com.