The way to win a girl’s heart

I would like to personally thank the gentleman who approached me last spring with a rose in… I would like to personally thank the gentleman who approached me last spring with a rose in his hand. His gesture of kindness and selflessness gave me hope in the male sex.

That was right before he charged me $3. Thank you, Rose Man.

I guess I got to thinking about Rose Man several days ago when I saw my man cheat on me by pulling the same stunt on a blonde walking by him. Poor thing. I think he even raised the price.

Since Cupid’s holiday is only weeks away, I thought this topic would be quite appropriate to discuss. To you knights and your ladies, I want to talk about gentlemen and manners.

When the air has that smell of freshly mowed lawn and blooming lilacs, you’re not in Oakland anymore. But you do realize that spring is here and all your negative feelings toward that past heartache or horrible date disappear.

While walking back from class last spring, I should have been skipping in my flip-flops for Oakland was looking beautiful. After losing my keys the night before and receiving a startling test grade – added to the fact that I couldn’t skip after getting burned in the fake n’ bake bed – I was stuffing tissues in my pockets. Aloe Vera fit nicely in my purse.

But imagine my spirits lifting when a gentleman in the street offered me a rose. Ah, chivalry at its finest.

As my eyes met his, I thought that maybe there was hope left in the world that I would find my Prince Charming.

And then it happened. My knight charged me those $3 for the token I thought he gave from his heart.

Goodbye to the value meal from Wendy’s. Pulling the last of my change out, I wondered how my grandmother got hooked up with such a wonderful man as my grandfather. How did my mother get wooed by bouquets of flowers from my father and not asked for money afterward?

Here’s my question for you guys out there: Whatever happened to chivalry? Are we ladies forever forced to double check our cell for your call? Do we have to open our own car doors? And are we going to be forced to sprint in our heels to beat the clock for a half-off dinner special?

Well, this is my request. In the next several weeks before V-Day approaches, I would like to have my hope restored that there really may be men out there like in “Casablanca.”

Give me faith, gentlemen of Pittsburgh. I’m not expecting a Humphrey Bogart impersonation. All I’m asking is not to be charged for a rose you give me.

While I’m thinking it’s because you thought I had a bad day, you’re thinking I’m naive enough to pay for it. And if you’re going to even think about getting money from me, please be sure to take the thorns off. I pricked my finger that day.