Real Pitt

Editor’s note: For the final The Real Pitt: Bouquet Gardens, Jessica, Kiran, Molly and Moira… Editor’s note: For the final The Real Pitt: Bouquet Gardens, Jessica, Kiran, Molly and Moira have written a response to their experience as Pitt celebrities.

While we may never know the reason The Pitt News picked us to be featured in The Real Pitt series this semester, we do know that, if no one else was entertained, we certainly were.

We’ve been portrayed as idiots, flakes, nerds, aggressors and critics. We’ve learned that being ourselves in front of a stranger who is trying to write about us is impossible. We’ve wondered if anyone has read the articles, other than us. We’ve realized that we’re too multi-dimensional to be accurately described in a newspaper, that the experience was fun anyway, and, perhaps most importantly, that tobacco is whacko.

Although readers saw us only as gluttonous, lazy, silly roommates, that judgment, while not outrageously inaccurate, overlooks a few important factors. We may have been overzealous in our attention to “Newlyweds,” but readers should keep in mind that we enjoy other activities, as well. For example, since the season of “Newlyweds” ended, we’ve been unhealthily engrossed in NBC’s “Average Joe.” Beyond that, we do, in fact, take part in typical college things that were never addressed in The Real Pitt, such as studying, sleeping and holding late-night ’80s dance parties.

We thought having our lives exposed to the masses would help us reach a better understanding of ourselves. We still can’t figure out how we ended up living together – at times, it seems we have nothing in common. We’ve learned to adapt to each other, and even adopt each other’s habits and sayings. “Stab me in the eye!” has become a favorite expression of frustration for all of us, thanks to Kiran. We’ve all become much more laid-back when it comes to schoolwork because of Molly, which isn’t exactly a good thing, but it introduces more opportunities to use Kiran’s catchphrase. We’ve learned that Jessica thinks “Saved by the Bell” is cheesy, but thinks “Dawson’s Creek” isn’t. We’ve all gotten used to hearing Moira suggest we go to the gym, and she’s finally gotten used to us ridiculing her and rejecting her suggestion.

When it comes down to it, we agree on the important things: Skipping class in favor of staying in bed is not always the wrong decision, cleaning is overrated, and Indo-European Folktales can, surprisingly, make or break your QPA! We love Avril [Lavigne] and how, at 17, she can bitch about how complicated her life is. Finally, we know at the end of the day, even if we went to class unshowered, failed tests and had many things go wrong in our lives, we can come back to Bouquet Gardens and come back to friends.

Hopefully, The Real Pitt entertained a few people, if only the people who know us personally. It was fun, if, at times, absurd. Sometimes we dreaded calling Jess [Knab], our writer, and at other times, we wished she could have been around a lot more to see all the crazy stuff we do. Thanks to our loyal readers, if there are any out there. You can count on us to keep it real at Pitt.