Post-breakup nooky prolonging the pain

Dear Sex N’ at:

My girlfriend and I recently broke up after two years of being together…. Dear Sex N’ at:

My girlfriend and I recently broke up after two years of being together. The sexual urge is definitely still there, and after a week of being apart, we hooked up again. This is a confusing time between the two of us, and we are trying to still figure out if we made the right move. Love is definitely still there too. Am I walking right into the potential of getting hurt or can we fulfill our sexual urges while we figure things out?

Sex Fan

Dear Fan:

Two years, while a mere blink in the grand scheme of your life, is a long time. Of course you are hurting and you miss her. You would be even if you dumped her because she was a terrible person – which you didn’t; you say love is still a factor. So you miss what’s familiar and good, and your Johnson misses regular attention.

After two years, you probably learned each other’s bodies pretty well, so sex is going to be good, comfortable and satisfying. It’s tempting to just give in and make love to someone you love.

But it’s a bad idea, and an even worse one so soon after the breakup. Your feelings are in a whirlwind right now. In the confines of your relationship, sex was intimacy and love. So, by having sex, you bring up those issues again with a person you decided not to share them with any more.

In the short term, sex is a great balm for your hurt. In the long run, it’ll prevent you from doing the work you need to do to yourself to heal and move on. Basically, having sex with your ex is putting off the inevitable and making it much harder on yourself.

You are also cheapening your sexual relationship to this woman by simply gratifying urges. Don’t turn someone you love into a receptacle if you aren’t together. If you do get back together, sex will still be beautiful and sacred between you.

A word, however, about booty calls to a distant ex. If there’s an ex from long ago, and you don’t hate each other but aren’t really a part of each other’s lives, there’s no reason not to go for the occasional hook-up. You share trust, compatibility and familiarity with them, so for strictly boning purposes, they are great resources – as long as both former partners are completely clear on what’s going on.

Dear Sex N’at:

A while back, I started teasing my girlfriend that she should shave herself; ever since she gave in and tried it, she’s been a bit addicted (to say the least). Anyhow, perhaps this isn’t your area of “specialty,” but we’ve always heard that there’s more to it than just plain ol’ shaving; that in a way, it’s more of an art. We came to college to learn something, didn’t we? Perhaps you can fill us in on this hidden art form.

Mr. and Ms. Hungry for Knowledge

Dear Hungries:

There is plenty more to shaving than just razors. There are all manner of goos and procedures available for the eradication of your girlfriend’s secondary sex characteristics. She can use a depilatory to chemically erase the hair, or she can go to a salon to have it ripped out with hot wax. Fun!

Yinz can go for all sorts of configurations, too. She can go for completely bare or she can leave a landing strip. I’d recommend against trying this at home, but salon pros can even wax her bush into a particular shape – hearts are popular around Valentine’s Day, shamrocks for St. Patrick’s … you get the idea. You are limited only by your creativity, wallets and tolerance for little, red bumps. Have fun, you porn stars, you!

Melissa Meinzer prefers to keep it closely trimmed. E-mail her at sex@pittnews.com.