Finals time may as well be naked time

Anyone who hasn’t spent the past year on the moon has seen the movie “Old School”… Anyone who hasn’t spent the past year on the moon has seen the movie “Old School” multiple times. This cinematic addiction has inspired and captured the minds of college students all over like no other film since the days of “Animal House.” Two of my friends recently fell victim to antics inspired by none other than Will Ferrell and his now-legendary “We’re going streaking!” battle cry.

I received a phone call late Friday night from my two compadres – who were beyond ecstatic at the fact that they had just torn down Oakland Avenue sporting nothing more than their birthday suits. The next day, I received another phone call, this time, the tone far less than elated. Streaker No. 1 was calling to report that he was hungry and wanted breakfast.

“Fair enough; go eat.” I replied to my pal, knowing very well there had to be some catch coming in the near future.

“We have to get breakfast, and you have to pay for me. I lost my wallet streaking last night,” he said. This would be the aforementioned catch.

The result of this conversation was a brunch at Panera Bread that left a $13 dent in my less-than-ample checking account. I’m not bitter about the whole money deal with my friend. I know – scratch that – I’m absolutely sure that we’ll even out all the loans I’ll give him until he gets his credit and bank cards back. However, it made me question why these events even transpired in the first place.

Almost every school has some tradition that involves streaking, or some form of nakedness, that every young scholar completes before doomsday – also known as graduation. Let’s face it; you can’t exactly get away with such indecent exposure without a big, fat citation accompanying it after your college years have vanished.

A streaking tradition is the perfect excuse to get even the most timid students to chuck inhibitions to the wind and bare it all in the name of Pitt pride. Even Penn State, the school whose very name spurs the attachment “sucks,” has a streaking tradition. We can’t be shown up by the Mifflin streak, where students strip down, cover their heads with bags, and take a lap during the height of finals week. If nothing else, it has to contain some academic value simply as a means of stress relief.

At the University of Virginia, students make a point of running bare-assed through campus to touch the statue of Thomas Jefferson. Surely, that founding father is looking down with nothing but gratification at the legacy his institution of higher learning has established.

Even Lafayette College, sitting up on a hill in Easton, Pa., is home to a pre-graduation streak, “Farinon to Skillman,” where everyone watches as the soon-to-be graduates take one last stroll in the quad, sans any garments.

Every year, typically around Homecoming, I hear people rant and rave that Pitt lacks tradition and blah blah blah. Here is the opportunity to turn it all around. I think the “Cathedral Streak” has a nice ring to it. Or maybe, “Bare it up to Benedum.” Who knows? My alliteration skills are lacking, but I’m sure someone could come up with something clever and witty for our student body to take part in.

As for those who would never even consider participating in such a revealing and exposing venture, which is perfectly understandable, it’s bound to be a hell of a show from an admirer’s perspective. No one can deny the rush brought on by the steady support of a dedicated cheering section. Just like the basketball and football teams, streakers need love, too. Any way you look at it, there’s a place for everyone as far as streaking is concerned.

Besides all the benefits already noted, if there is a time specifically for the art of streaking, the odds of someone running down Oakland Avenue in disclothed bliss and losing their wallet are far less likely. If everyone has their own wallets, then my and everyone else’s checking accounts will be in much better shape. So really, one could say streaking holds the key to ending post-college debt. OK, not so much, but it could be a lot of fun.

Colleen Bayus can be reached at