Newly wedded TV is so addictive

MTV has yet another reality TV show that is super-addictive. The appropriately titled… MTV has yet another reality TV show that is super-addictive. The appropriately titled “Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica” follows Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey through the trials and tribulations of newly married bliss – and the whole country gets to see that it isn’t all bliss.

Similar to what MTV did with “The Osbournes,” – minus the vast amount of bleeps to censor cuss words – “Newlyweds” follows a famous family and shows us that they are just like you and me, only with tons of money.

What attracted me to “The Osbournes” was my liking of Ozzy and his music. I am by no means a Jessica Simpson, 98 Degrees or Nick Lachey fan. I initially watched it because there was nothing else on. But from that debut episode, I was hooked.

Throughout the first six or seven episodes of the show, we learned that Nick can be a bit tight when it comes to his wallet – he rented a U-Haul to move himself out of his condo and wondered if $20 an hour was a lot to pay a maid. For her part, Jessica doesn’t have a clue when it comes to cooking and cleaning. Nick looks at – but doesn’t touch – other women, and Jessica’s poop does indeed stink.

When first seeing the episodes, I found myself wondering if the couple was going to make it ’til death do they part – or if they would part via death because one caused the death of the other. And then, with nothing else to do on a Saturday afternoon, I found myself watching a marathon of the series thus far. With some crafty editing on MTV’s part, they show a lot of the couple’s arguments. While some are petty, some are about serious issues.

I wouldn’t mind my husband doing promotional work for his new album at the Playboy Mansion, as Nick did, but I would find myself a little leery about sexy women in very little clothing gyrating against him during performances.

Jessica and Nick didn’t live together prior to tying the knot, so he wasn’t used to her sloppiness and un-Martha Stewart-like ways. I can only hope that when, and if, I cohabitate with a man – before or after nuptials – he will be able to deal with my messes and burnt attempts at meals.

You also catch a glimpse of producers’ edits when it comes to Jessica’s nagging and complaining. Sure, she may have said she was cold, hungry, tired and had cramps while they were camping in the mountains, but I’m almost positive it wasn’t in succession. The gripes were most likely said on separate occasions.

Much like I fixed my schedule to coincide with “The Osbournes,” I now do the same with “Newlyweds.” If I miss an episode, I make sure I catch its rerun before the next week’s airing. I think my addiction to peering into the couple’s lives is part envy and part identification with them. Spoiled as I can be, one day I hope to live in a huge mansion and be able to jet off to the Bahamas to spend quality time with my husband without a care in the world.

On the other hand, when I think of the difficulties of the beginnings of a marriage, I often think of monetary concerns. I thought about my mother’s stories of living with her in-laws until she and my father could afford to be on their own, and their constant lectures about how “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

I never thought about getting to know someone on a whole other level, of balancing careers and time together, or about the tiny things that come with tying the knot – keeping the sex life interesting, or making not just the big decisions together, but the seemingly minute ones as well.

That whole bathroom-odor thing, though, I’m going to have to take all sorts of precautions to avoid.