A new druid plot? What’s the deal with Pitt’s mysterious underground tunnels?

There is a tunnel that goes from Trees Hall to the Fieldhouse (downstairs, by the… There is a tunnel that goes from Trees Hall to the Fieldhouse (downstairs, by the racquetball courts, in Trees – it goes under Aliquippa Street, and you come out near the locker rooms in the Fieldhouse).

Rumor has it that underground tunnels connect many of the buildings on campus. Is this true?

This is a great question for two reasons: One, it’s a rumor that is thrown around constantly and believed by many people and, two, it gives me a reason to include the Druids in this column again.

In a word: yes. There are tunnels, according to Laura Zullo, Pitt’s manager of equipment preservations for Facilities Management. Lots of tunnels, actually, under lots of buildings.

They’re steam tunnels, part of Pitt’s heating system, and most of them are under streets or sidewalks. And they’re not new.

“Many of them have been in place for lots of years,” Zullo said, adding that new ones are constructed every now and then.

See, pipes in tunnels last longer than pipes just buried in the ground because there’s less moisture to eat away at that oh-so-fragile metal. Most of the tunnels connect steam vaults outside of Pitt buildings, as opposed to connecting the buildings themselves.

But are they used for transportation, you ask. Are there Druids under my floor right now, clad in black and wandering through steam tunnels with swords drawn? Is my favorite student leader walking to her favorite tree without ever needing to see the light of day?

You can walk in the tunnels, but you probably wouldn’t want to, according to Zullo, who’s been in the tunnels. They’re apparently dark, a little cramped and on the warm, damp side.

“They’re not a lot of fun to be in,” she said.

Which means that either the Druids just walk around like normal people, travel in relative discomfort, or – wait for it – Zullo is a Druid and this is a cover-up.

The tunnel under Trees is not one of these steam tunnels, but one of Pitt’s few pedestrian ones. Zullo said she didn’t know of any others specifically, but Liz Culliton, president of Student Government Board, said she had been in tunnels under the quad that are used for deliveries. They’re also used for Resident Student Association’s annual Nightmare in the Quad.

Now, a skeptical person might read this and think that a prominent student leader informed about secret tunnels can only mean one thing.

“I have never been in a Druid tunnel,” Culliton said, adding that such a statement did not imply the existence of such tunnels. The plot thickens.

There are maps of these tunnels, but they’re not public information, for security reasons. Apparently, if one were so inclined, a person could use the tunnels for secret access and then steal or sabotage our steam vaults. Zullo did give me some specific examples of buildings that are connected by tunnels, but then said that if I printed those, it would be a security risk and she’d have to kill me.

Okay, I sort of inferred that last part, but she sounded dangerous on the phone. And, if she is one of the Druids, she probably has some serious connections.

So, yes, there are tunnels under Pitt’s campus. But to get in them, you either need to work for Facilities Management, be a criminal mastermind, or join a secret society. And that last option’s not a sure thing.