Looking to the north for same-sex sanity

Despite the chance of burning in Hell, some folks are crossing the world’s longest… Despite the chance of burning in Hell, some folks are crossing the world’s longest unprotected border in search of a right all straight Americans are allowed to enjoy. Although this window may only be open briefly, the queerness of the situation has many Americans concerned.

If Canadians are already allowing gay marriages, it may only be a matter of time before the concept of being allowed to marry the person you love, even if they have the same genitals as you, might catch on here. Strong opposition resounds from all levels of the U.S. government and religious groups. Many fear a domino effect much like with Communism, pointing out that Canada is a larger country than we are – if she were to stand up and then quickly fall over on top of us, we would all be smothered in gay.

I applaud Canadians for taking a great big step into reality. I mean, really, despite what you may read in books, there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality or homosexual marriage. Gay marriages don’t cause cancer or bomb buildings or even steal your children. But they do make people happy, a pursuit we claim a right to as citizens of this country.

Authority figures from religious lobbies such as the Catholic church claim the whole concept of marriage as we know it will be destroyed if gay marriages are legalized. Inexplicably, straight people will no longer fall in love and want to get married anymore. On the other hand, there is the possibility that, even if people were allowed to marry anything they wanted, many would still prefer a human partner of the opposite sex.

Below the skin, some of us are made uncomfortable or even disgusted by homosexuality. If same-sex unions were accepted, we’d have to see young men holding hands as they walk down the street or middle-aged lesbians putting the fire back in their marriage by making out in movie theaters.

What’s creepier to you? Issuing marriage licenses to gay couples or buying a birth certificate for your Cabbage Patch Kid? Which is more disgusting? Two men entwining lips and mustache hair in a passionate kiss or watching a lovely, young girl puke chunks of hot dog down her tank top at a party? There are things going on more disturbing then public displays of affection.

Yet there are those who adamantly refuse to accept homosexual unions. There are those who commit their lives to stopping homosexuality – even with violence. These people frequently claim they’re acting in God’s name or that they’re protecting traditional family values.

The truth is that they are hiding. Hate always comes from fear. What, exactly, they are afraid of is debatable. Maybe some people just can’t stand anything outside the norm. Perhaps the possibility that something that has been popularly considered evil for centuries is, in fact, all right is too Earth-shattering for certain people. Or maybe some people are afraid of what they may learn about themselves if they take a good hard look at a glossy picture of a person of the same sex.

Unlike with pot, there is no legitimate controversy over the positive and negative health effects of homosexual relationships. That’s because being gay isn’t dangerous to oneself or other people. And certainly, any marriage that’s done for the right reasons is a good one. No moral argument holds water. There isn’t anything wrong with loving somebody.

The gayest thing about Seth Steinbacher is his Club MTV Hits collection. Dance with him at ssteinbacher@pittnews.com.