Fridays at the movies

Ah, the fall – that magical time of year when Hollywood releases good films.

I know I’m… Ah, the fall – that magical time of year when Hollywood releases good films.

I know I’m ready.

Being bludgeoned with a crappy sequel on a weekly basis all summer long was rough. Saving graces – “28 Days Later,” “Finding Nemo” and just a few others – were rare.

We’re safe now, though. This late in the year, with Oscars on their minds, the studios unveil the best they’ve got. Sequels are now the exception, not the rule.

Below are the most notable releases, based on the buzz to date. No doubt there will be many more to discover. And there’s no telling what hits will be born at the upcoming Venice, Toronto and New York film festivals.

September 12: “Cabin Fever” is a horror film with more buzz than a chainsaw. With over-the-top gore that has many calling it the new “Evil Dead,” the film pits teens in the woods against a flesh-eating virus. “Matchstick Men” is a quirky comedy about an obsessive-compulsive conman, played by Nicholas Cage, who brings his adolescent daughter, whom he’s only just met, in on a scam – a definite change of pace for director Ridley Scott (“Gladiator” and “Black Hawk Down”). Johnny Depp joins in the gunplay in “Once Upon a Time in Mexico,” the third installment in director Robert Rodriguez’s “El Mariachi” series. Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek return.

September 19: In “Secondhand Lions,” a wimpy teen, played by Haley Joel Osment, spends a summer with his two oddball uncles, played by Robert Duvall and Michael Caine, who share the incredible adventures of their pasts with him. And he probably learns something.

In Limited Release: “Lost in Translation,” featuring what looks to be a classic Bill Murray performance, is Sofia Coppola’s follow-up to her remarkable debut, “The Virgin Suicides.” “The Human Stain,” based on the Philip Roth novel of the same name, tells the scandalous story of a light-skinned black college professor, played by Anthony Hopkins, who’s spent his professional life pretending to be Jewish. Nicole Kidman also stars.

October 3: “School of Rock” features Jack Black as a rock musician who’s kicked out of his band and forced to take a job teaching the fifth grade. Richard Linklater (“Dazed and Confused”) is directing, and Black – one half of the almighty Tenacious D – was born to play this role.

October 8: The Clint Eastwood-directed “Mystic River” was a hit at Cannes and will have the honor of opening this year’s New York Film Festival. Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon and Tim Robbins star.

October 10: The Coen brothers (makers of “Raising Arizona” and “Fargo”) re-team with “O Brother Where Art Thou?” star George Clooney for “Intolerable Cruelty,” the story of an ace divorce lawyer who personally goes to war with the wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) of one of his clients. Also, director Quentin Tarantino returns after nearly a decade with “Kill Bill,” a blood-soaked revenge film starring Uma Thurman. Reportedly epic in scale, the film will be released in two parts, with the second arriving within six months of the first. The Coens and Tarantino in one weekend – it’s too much.

October 17: “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is the latest classic to fall victim to a remake, arriving just in time for Halloween. The original has an unshakable “dirty” feel that I doubt a major studio production can recapture, but we’ll see.

October 24: Dark Castle Pictures (“Thirteen Ghosts” and “Ghost Ship”) has been feeding us junk horror flicks every October for a few years now; almost all advance word on their latest, “Gothika,” revolves around a scene in which Halle Berry and Penelope Cruz engage in a naked catfight. Well then.

November 5: The “Matrix” trilogy concludes with “Revolutions.” Hopefully they’ll let us in on what the hell was going on in “Reloaded.”

November 7: Jon Favreau (director and star of “Made”) directs Will Ferrell as a man who’s grown up thinking he’s one of Santa’s elves in “Elf.” Ferrell is on fire these days; “Elf” should be a hoot.

November 14: Russell Crowe propositions the Academy once again, this time as a Napoleon-era British ship captain in director Peter Weir’s (“The Truman Show”) “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World.” Yes, even in the fall, titles with colons are still hot.

November 21: Mike Myers transforms again, this time into the title character in “Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat.” “The Grinch” was a box office smash, so it’s no surprise that this would be coming. Accomplished production designer Bo Welch tries his hand at directing. Let’s hope he turns out better than Joel Schumacher did.

November 26: Director Terry Zwigoff follows up his gem “Ghost World” with “Bad Santa.” Billy Bob Thornton stars, Bernie Mac provides support, and the Coen brothers produce – it can’t go wrong.

Some time in November: The incomparable Tim Burton (“Beetlejuice” and “Edward Scissorhands”) directs “Big Fish,” starring Billy Crudup, Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Helena Bonham Carter and Steve Buscemi.

December 5: In “The Last Samurai,” Tom Cruise plays a Civil War veteran who teaches Japanese soldiers to use guns instead of Samurai ways in the late 1800s. Edward Zwick (“Glory” and “Courage Under Fire”) directs.

December 12: Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear play Siamese twins in “Stuck on You,” the Farrelly brothers’ (“Dumb and Dumber” and “There’s Something About Mary”) latest bit of borderline exploitative fun. Cher appears in a lead role. In addition, the beloved ’80s comedy “Can’t Buy Me Love” gets remade as “Love Don’t Cost a Thing.” Is nothing sacred?

December 17: All good things must come to an end, including Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” film trilogy, which wraps up with “The Return of the King.” All Jackson has to do is not screw it up.

December 19: A who’s who of hot young actresses – Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles and Maggie Gyllenhaal – highlight the Julia Roberts drama “Mona Lisa Smile,” directed by Mike Newell (“Four Weddings and a Funeral”).

December 25: Dennis Quaid, Jason Patric and Billy Bob Thornton headline the historical action/drama “The Alamo,” directed by John Lee Hancock (last year’s pleasant surprise “The Rookie”). A script by John Sayles (“Lone Star” and “Eight Men Out”) should keep it from going the way of “Pearl Harbor.” Also, “English Patient” director Anthony Minghella offers “Cold Mountain,” a Civil War epic with the most remarkable cast of the year: Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger, Brendan Gleeson, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Giovanni Ribisi, Donald Sutherland and more.

These release dates will likely get shuffled, but the films – unless they’re bad enough to warrant a move to the lower-profile early winter season – will arrive sometime before the year is out. Read The Pitt News for reviews of these and other films throughout the year.