The Pitt News helps you pick out your digs

I’m looking out for you. And my hope is that none of you end up with a black strip over your… I’m looking out for you. And my hope is that none of you end up with a black strip over your eyes in the latest fashion magazine’s section about what not to wear. With the fall season approaching, these tips will keep any guy or girl looking hot.

We’ll use my experience – gained while attending the “Justified/Stripped” tour this summer – with articles of clothing you shouldn’t be caught dead in, or ones that, if you were, someone should dig you out of your grave and give you a makeover.

Faux pas No. 1: Wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform if you are over the age of 18. The only exceptions are for girls actually attending a Catholic school, hence the uniform, or appearing in a Britney Spears video. I bowed my head in shame at the 30-year-old woman standing in the ticket line.

Fix: Try a ruffled or pleated miniskirt. If you’re not looking to spend several hundred dollars on Marc Jacobs or Gucci, Charlotte Russe has some minis that won’t leave you scrambling for rent money.

Faux pas No. 2: Wearing a neon orange, psychedelic halter-top, accompanied by a lime green miniskirt with your go-go boots. Only do this if you’re planning on auditioning for Austin Powers 4.

Fix: While the ’60s look isn’t out, dressing like an idiot is. The mod look this autumn is a definite yes. If you’re staying in this Saturday night, rent “The Mod Squad” for quick inspiration. Also, remember these three key words: bright, bold and basic. Ditch the go-gos but not the boots. They’re a yes. Any shape, size or color.

Faux pas No. 3: Ladies, undergarments are strictly for under your garments. Who would have thought? Let Vicki’s leopard thong remain a secret. No one wants to see it. And if you’re wearing leopard, honey, you missed the bus. Animal print has been extinct since ’98.

Fix: Zebra and cheetah prints are out, as is showing your tush. Stay warm this autumn in a fitted coat, keeping your bare essentials covered. Tweed is hot this fall and will be showing up everywhere. A form-fitting coat tied together with a skinny belt is the look. But while your favorite department store may not carry Prada or Versace, they do have close imitations.

Faux pas No. 4: Gentlemen, Joe Boxer was cool, what, five years ago? But if you’re going to wear them, or any type of loincloth, once again, cover it up. No one wants to sit behind you in statistics and have to see your tightie whities – or learn you’ve decided to take notes commando.

Fix: Buckle your belt one more notch. One tip, though, and don’t be confused: If your jeans are tighter than mine, stick ’em back in your drawers or on the pile of clothes in your room. And let’s get a little more creative here – stay away from basic Hanes T-shirts and jeans. Sporty, zip-up jackets and cargos are must-haves. To top off your new style, you won’t be looked down upon if you borrow from my man JT. Go with the trucker’s cap – trust me, they’re in. (Look to www.urbanoutfitters.com for more ideas.)

Faux pas No. 5: Girls, if you’re going to wear a skirt, try wearing one long enough to cover a cheek. And I’m not talking about the ones you rub your rosy blush on. If the skirt isn’t big enough to work as a headband, I highly doubt it’s going to do your butt justice.

Fix: Believe it or not, tights are back. Noticeable seams and fishnets, maroons and charcoals are a few possibilities. Cover your legs in color and top it off with a sexy, tweed skirt. Knee-length skirts work with any body type. This season is all about subtlety, which, ultimately, is sexier than the “I’m going home with you tonight” look. Go for classy, not trashy.

Faux pas No. 6: Do I even need to bring this to your attention? Ladies and gentlemen, never pair socks and sandals together. And if you’re going to, anyway, at least wear this atrocity in the privacy of your own home.

Fix: Ladies, pumps are in. Heels or flats, pointy-toed or rounded, suede or leather. But while we can’t all afford Sarah Jessica Parker’s Manolo Blahniks, a couple nights of working at the pizza shop can get you some stylish-looking Nine West or Steve Madden ones. Guys, just remember: suede or sneakers with some color. Boring is a no-no. As always, you can never go wrong shopping at Journeys.

These are only a few tips to start the fall semester off right, with some style. Just remember to stay away from leopard and you’ll be fine. I’m not being mean, I’m just being honest. After all, I’m only watching out for your best interests.