Beyond PSU sucks: what to do when we play and win

“Penn State Sucks.” Say it with pride, new Pitt students.

The administration has tried… “Penn State Sucks.” Say it with pride, new Pitt students.

The administration has tried to halt the use of this phrase at football games by altering the Pitt fight song, eliminating a crucial lull in the music where these three words conveniently fit.

But the musical revision has hardly deterred the devoted. You’ll still hear the mantra bellowed forth from the student section, regardless of what team the Panthers are playing that day.

Unfortunately, the changing face of college sports has also threatened to undermine the intensity of this storied rivalry that once stood along side such classic intrastate competitions as Michigan/Michigan State, Florida/Florida State, Iowa/Iowa State and Oregon/Oregon State. As members of different athletic conferences, Pitt and Penn State are not required to play. They must pencil each other in when their schedules permit.

While the teams did meet at State College for basketball last season, the outlook for a football game any time soon is questionable. Pitt’s football schedule is full until 2008. Also, both teams have made it clear they want the game on their own turf, another administrative obstacle not likely to be reconciled anytime soon.

The infrequency of sporting contests between the schools has decreased the slogan’s practical relevance. Gone are the days of tailgating brawls ? the days of shouting and throwing sharp objects at large groups of Penn State fans in Pittsburgh. And, sadly, many a Nittany Lion has given up on the feud, claiming the joke just isn’t funny anymore.

But this is neither a joke nor a passing trend at the University of Pittsburgh. Our hatred for all things Pennsylvania State University is deep and true.

It is one of the many sports traditions we hold sacred at Pitt.

Whether driving behind a car with a Penn State decal, sitting in the stands at Heinz Field or the Peterson Events Center, watching another Joe Paterno feature on Sports Center or just talking with your friends about something completely unrelated, be sure to keep the faith by proclaiming your disdain for Happy Valley frequently and wholeheartedly.

While Penn State sucks supreme, West Virginia University bats clean-up.

WVU represents an antagonizing paradox in intercollegiate relations; although it is less than an hour from Pitt, it is worlds away in terms of culture, importance and overall coolness.

The result is regional rivalry between two schools that can neither stand, nor avoid, each other. The Panther and the Mountaineer are bad neighbors, constantly trespassing in each other’s backyards.

As a Big East team, Pitt fans get to hate West Virginia actively and regularly at their frequent sporting contests. Fans from both schools diligently hit the road in swarms to catch games at the opposing campus, creating some of the most hostile and dangerous stadium environments in college sports. Keep your ears open at the annual and historic Backyard Brawl for their mildly creative degradations of our fine university as the two teams duke it out on the gridiron.

And NEVER ask who won last year’s game.

When a Pitt team goes on a hot streak, be sure to help the bronze panther dress for the occasion. You’ll find her outside the Union, adorned with jerseys, beads and other assorted Pitt gear in celebration of athletic success.

And later, as you stumble through the rockin’ streets of South Oakland on a celebratory bender after a big win, be sure to raise your $5 cup of Pabst to the majestic Cathedral of Learning, visible from most anywhere in the neighborhood. Its uppermost crest will glow with the gold light of victory whenever Pitt wins.