Eat your heart out

Date Plate

Premieres tonight

Food Network, 9 p.m. (check your local listings)

Were it a… Date Plate

Premieres tonight

Food Network, 9 p.m. (check your local listings)

Were it a blockbuster summer action picture, “Date Plate”‘s tagline might go something like this: “Two men. Two dinners. One woman. One chance for love.”

This is not that kind of show.

“Date Plate” is actually the Food Network’s first foray into dating shows. The format of the show treads well-worn territory, pitting two anonymous singles against each other in order to woo someone sight unseen. The third single (ostensibly of the opposite sex) chooses between the suitors and goes on a date with the one he or she chooses. The loser gets a new grill.

What makes “Date Plate” different, though, is that the way the chooser tests the mettle of the people competing for him is in the kitchen. The premiere’s contestants pit aspiring opera singer Joshua Davis, 27, against 22-year-old bartender and aspiring slashie (read unemployed model/actor) John Drury in a kitchen battle of a different stripe. Josh and John each have to make an entree and dessert for Hallie Shirard, an assistant television producer and “artist.” Her medium? Blocks of wood. Her subject? Asses. Really. No, really. (Just watch the show).

After watching a brief videotaped interview with Hallie, Josh and John head to Whole Foods – $50 budget in hand – with the chefs at Neyla, a Washington bistro that specializes in Mediterranean fusion dishes. The chefs help the singles choose a menu and pick the best ingredients in the market. Much adorable banter with butchers and stockboys ensues.

A fishmonger tells Josh that monkfish, a fish he’s chosen for a main course soup, is sometimes referred to as “poor man’s lobster.” John picks up a rack of lamb, spicy mustard with romano cheese, red potatoes and artichokes for his entree. He throws chocolate and raspberries into his cart for dessert, and cliched though they are, remember that John and Josh are planning and cooking the menus themselves: The chefs are really only there for moral support and advice.

The guys bring their booty back to the Neyla kitchen and then the show really picks up. The preternaturally perky host Kelly Deadmon sets the cooking clock at two hours and the boys set to their tasks. Josh and John bust on each other’s kitchen skills. Josh sings while he works, John flexes his guns and viewers roll their eyes and smile. When John tells us the name of his lamb dish – “Hunk o’ Burning Love Lamb” – Josh makes a hilarious gagging face. Strangely enough, Josh and John have more chemistry than any other pairing of people on the show.

When time’s up, Kelly bubbles into the kitchen and tells everyone Hallie’s arrived and that “she’s looking hot.” Hallie sits down and tastes, offering her impressions of each dish. This segment is reminiscent of the Food Network’s venerable and hilarious “Iron Chef,” except there’s no overdubbing or bizarrely coiffed and costumed hosts.

Once she’s tasted the monkfish aqua pazza-style, mustard-crusted rack of lamb with warm artichoke and potato salad, orange crepes and rosewater-poached pear with red wine reduction (which, incidentally, looks on the plate like one of Hallie’s sculptures) it’s time for her to choose. Who takes home the shiny new Coleman grill? Who gets the second date? And more importantly, where can you get the recipe for that lamb? Watch “Date Plate” tonight and find out.