ABC’s ‘Are You Hot?’ is too trashy, even for FOX

I can’t deny it.

I watch those reality TV shows. It started innocently enough, a casual… I can’t deny it.

I watch those reality TV shows. It started innocently enough, a casual interest in “Survivor” and the “Real World.” Now reality shows are everywhere and I can’t help but check them all out, at least once.

Fox seems to be at the forefront of this reality TV show craze, ranging from creating new pop sensation “American Idol” to conducting mass weddings on “Married By America.” However, ABC’s newest reality show is the one that created a buzz before it premiered, seeming sleazy even by Fox standards. Of course, I had to check it out. In fact, “Are You Hot? The Search for America’s Sexiest People” is a show all about checking people out.

“Are You Hot” is like a beauty pageant to the extreme, complete with judges, nationwide voting and commercial interruptions. All contestants are rated solely on physical beauty. There are no talent competitions or impromptu answers to tough current event questions to get in the way of what we really want to see. Contestants are rated on a scale of one to 10 in three categories by three “celebrity” judges while the live audience hoots in the background.

The categories are face, body and overall sex appeal. One judge has a laser pointer that he uses to emphasize imperfections such as flat butts and flabby thighs.

The way the contestants parade onstage in their bathing suits reminds me of a dog show. I’m surprised one of the judges hasn’t asked someone to take a jog around stage so they can evaluate their gait. They have asked to take a closer look at a few people’s teeth. It wasn’t pretty.

It is such a humiliating competition. Standing onstage in your bathing suit in front of hundreds of people while a judge says your breasts are too small and the camera zooms in on them to make sure everyone at home knows. Why does anyone do it? Why am I watching?

I watch because it’s funny. The concept is so ridiculous and superficial, but it’s a question that everyone has wondered about. Physical beauty is a big part of our society, whether we want it to be or not. “Are You Hot” exploits this by offering people a chance to have their attractiveness evaluated.

Everyone has a different definition of hot. It seems as though all the contestants on the show think they are the next supermodels. I often disagree with the judges on how they rate someone’s body or overall sex appeal. Only a few people get to move on to the next round. The ones that are left behind make tearful promises to the camera that they will not give up until they achieve their goal of becoming the hottest person in America.

Right.

Still, everyone needs a dream. Who knows, maybe sexiest person in America will become an actual occupation in the next few months.

Although “Are You Hot” is cheap fun for now, in a nation with an obesity epidemic and plenty of mixed messages, it’s not helping any. Maybe after this contest is over, ABC will introduce its next reality show “Are You Comfortable with Yourself?” for everyone who wasn’t lining up to audition for “Are You Hot?” It would be interesting to see how many people would walk onstage in their jeans and T-shirt to simply say “yes.”