Freedom fries won’t faze the french

Anti-French sentiment in the United States has taken a childish turn. France may not have a… Anti-French sentiment in the United States has taken a childish turn. France may not have a lot of fans among supporters of an invasion of Iraq, but a few discerning connoisseurs have taken their distaste a bit far.

The Pickle Barrel, a restaurant in the South Side, has stopped selling french fries and french toast. In their place, customers can scarf “U.S.A. fries” and glob syrup and powdered sugar on “freedom toast.”

At Morton’s of Chicago, the swank steakhouse Downtown, Grey Goose vodka is no longer being promoted because it’s from France.

Even cafeterias at the U.S. House of Representatives have switched to “freedom” fries and toast.

Last week, a resolution went to committee in the state House to prohibit sales of French wines in state liquor stores.

This is sandbox-level diplomacy. It’s sticking out our tongues all the way across the Atlantic.

What is the expected outcome of our more patriotic snacking? Will Jacques Chirac, unable to take the strain at losing his deathgrip on American comfort-food consumption, suddenly relent and throw his full support behind a U.S. invasion of Iraq? It seems unlikely he’ll come to every loyal greasy spoon bearing sacks of potatoes and a contrite expression, begging to be allowed into our fatty good graces again.

This is an embarrassing display of semantic silliness. It’s pandering to nationwide demonization of the French. If it were assigned reading in a fiction class, the discussion would revolve around how unfeasible it is.

As a nation on the brink of a war that a large portion of the world doesn’t support, we’ve got better things to do than rename our side dishes and breakfast food. Assuming this anomaly even registers on the French cultural radar, all it will do is further alienate them and create yet more anti-American sentiment abroad.

Imagine extrapolating this trend a bit. What will high school kids do in the backs of movie theaters now? “Justice” kissing? What about items for sale in the back of dirty magazines? “Democracy” ticklers?

What’s next, replacing turkey club sandwiches with “American bacon sandwiches?”

The Pickle Barrel is already doing that.

And wouldn’t it be ridiculous if all this fried potato hoopla were about a Belgian invention?

It is.