Breaking an American cycle

In recent years – and possibly decades – Americans have developed a love-hate relationship… In recent years – and possibly decades – Americans have developed a love-hate relationship with food. We love to eat, but we hate being fat, and it is widely publicized that the United States has become the fattest nation in the world. It’s disheartening; especially for people that have grown accustomed to having their cake – with heavy icing – and eating it too.

But the opposition has gotten equal press. We must accept our lot (bodies) in life and go from there. How are our children supposed to feel good about themselves when Hollywood keeps producing images of flawless physiques? It’s downright wrong for little Tommy to be exposed to the Calvin Klein models in Cosmo while mom is getting her hair cut. It’s misleading – he should feel good about himself the way he is. So he’s fat. What’s wrong with that? Oh yeah, back to paragraph one …

In the end, we’re angry at ourselves for being fat, and bitter towards beautiful people for reminding us that we’re angry. It’s a blame game we often see in other areas of life as well. Talking is easier than acting, so talking must be done – at great lengths.

Tommy spends his days playing Xbox and eating Doritos. As a result, he avoids confidence-building sports and has a hard time fitting into phone booths. It must be someone’s fault, so we might as well blame Calista Flockhart.

The problem of weight-loss and self-esteem in America parades itself as unstoppable. Some people have answers – displayed in infomercial form – but most are left scratching their heads in consternation. But things aren’t hopeless, and the light at the end of this seemingly endless tunnel comes from a surprising source: Jared Fogle.

This once unknown heavyweight turned Subway spokesman went primetime by confirming what we thought we knew, but we didn’t see it because we were busy buying Subway stock and humming the Clay Henry song under our collective breath.

Basically, the guy cut back on fat. Anyone can do that. It comes as a terrible shock to our generation, but ab-isolating gizmos and electronic pulse machines are not necessary for weight loss. Here’s an idea: Go outside and do things. Take the stairs sometimes. It’s not rocket surgery. (The implication being that weight loss is easy, or at least easier than rocket surgery, as there is nothing in the world more complex).

All things considered, Jared’s amazing popularity is a little creepy. The guy does something that will obviously work and has always obviously worked, and people want to elect him president of the universe. I suppose if I were to rediscover gravity I could get my face printed in textbooks and on stamps.

Each case is unique. Some people get fat because of glandular problems or disorders, others get there because of their own negligence. Still others get there in the hopes of suing a fast food chain. But regardless of which road you take, the way back is marked by discipline, self-control and a daily trip to the gym.

Talk is not only cheap, it’s effortless. That’s why we hear about so many causes, cures, scapegoats and whipping boys. But unfortunately, talk isn’t profitable unless you have something to sell – a wonder pill or miracle weight-loss device, for instance. In that case, you have a wide, loyal demographic. Americans are overweight and bitter about it, and they will continue to be, as long as the smallest amount of pain is necessary to achieve any substantial gain.

Imagine: Americans passing the cake.

Eric Miller is the opinions editor of The Pitt News. He can be reached at miller@pittnews.com.