Oakland oldster doesn’t mess around

Tuesday afternoon, two young hooligans decided they needed some cash. Perhaps their allowances… Tuesday afternoon, two young hooligans decided they needed some cash. Perhaps their allowances were withheld this week for not taking out the trash. Who knows?

What is known, according to a city police report, is that the juveniles headed into Mailboxes and More Inc. at 110 Atwood St., pointed a gun at a 77-year-old employee and demanded that cash be placed in a bag they carried.

Being 15 and 16 years old, obviously the traditional liquor-store heist won’t be an option for a good 5 or 6 years.

They must have thought that a senior citizen couldn’t have been much of a threat to them. They thought wrong.

Bob Tripp, a Mailboxes employee, followed the two down Euler Way after placing $150 in the bag. He had a surprise for them.

Once the robbers heard Tripp following them, one turned around and took aim. Tripp, though, proved quicker on the draw.

He pulled out a revolver of his own and shot at the whippersnappers. It seems his bullet may have grazed the down coat of one of the thieves, sending a cloud of feathers into the air. Good thing the kid wasn’t wearing a raincoat. The thieves dropped their bag, turned tail and fled, according to the police report.

First, one wonders what a Mailboxes employee was doing with a fully licensed revolver at work. Obviously he needed it. Tripp’s been working in Oakland for years; he must be familiar with the goings-on here. He said this was the first time in his three years working at Mailboxes that a robbery has taken place. Clearly, it will also be the last.

Second, what were these jokers doing on Atwood Street on a weekday afternoon? Did shop class prove exceptionally boring that day?

In the bag they dropped, there was a .25 caliber semi-automatic handgun and two BB guns. The third question, then, is if they needed money so badly, why not pawn the heaters? And where did they get them in the first place?

The clever lads were apprehended about a half hour after the shooting.

So now our criminal masterminds are probably facing some time in juvenile hall. Not only will they be locked up, they’ll be subject to the utter ridicule of their contemporaries for getting their proverbial butts whipped by a man who’s been qualified for senior citizen discounts since before they were born.

Young’uns need to respect their elders. It seems they rule the world these days. Not only do they vote, they pack heat and aren’t afraid to chase down knaves guns a-blazin.’

Of course, guns are really never the answer, but you can bet these two twits won’t be hassling any more oldsters any time soon.